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Plunny bite from reality?
Feb. 19th, 2017 08:00 pm
Title: The Takeover
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 977
It was late. Josh said as much to his house guest where she lounged in ‘his’, comfy and sometimes place to sleep, tv chair. He picked up the now neatly washed bowl, since she was done licking it, a bowl that was supposed to lure her out of ‘his’ recliner chair to the floor. In the end he’d picked it up and put it next to her, where upon she’d made short work of it. The bowl was still in his hand when the doorbell rang.
“If this is for you, you’re going to have to go outside and socialize with them. It’s bedtime for me,” Josh called over his shoulder as he opened the door.
A laugh came from the person on the other side of the screen door. “Sherry, short for Scheherazade, giving you problems? She does have a mind of her own.”
“Your cat?”
“I don’t know if you could really call her mine,” was said with amusement. “I think she considers me hers and now you too. Might as well get used to it.”
“Wondered if she belonged to someone. She looks well cared for. Think she might have a bun in the oven though. You come to take her home? Pleeeese.”
Another laugh came from the man outside, “Like that would do any good. If she wants to be here, then she’ll be here. I was just checking on her. She’ll probably come home soon but you’d better expect to come with her.”
Josh’s “Um, excuse me,” was met by a grin.
“Name’s Ezekias, but call me Ezzie and don’t pay any attention to her calling me Easy or Ee-Ass. I’m not. Like some who won’t be named.”
The cat yawned widely from the recliner seat where she lounged.
“You said something about expecting to come home with her?”
“Let me ask you a question, how did you meet her?”
“I took to putting out food on the front step to distract her from me running her over with the car in the morning.” Josh blushed, “I mean if she was eating, then she’d not be under the car’s tires.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Couple weeks, maybe a bit more,” was said defensively.
“And she induced you to open the door to let her in….?”
“Just this last week.”
“Did you open the door for her today?”
Josh shook his head in confusion, “no… I don’t think I did.”
“Uh huh. But your door was closed.”
“Well not exactly, I was refilling the food outside and next thing I knew she just sort of appeared behind me.”
“And yet I see there’s food and water set up just inside your front hallway.”
“Yeah, well. I can explain.”
“No need,” Ezzie laughed. “I know her. And you fed her people food too.”
Josh looked down at the bowl, that had had cornmeal mush in it until recently and was still in his hand, as if he’d never seen it before. “Um.”
“Familiars are a bit like Harry Potter house brownies but in reverse. At least some of them.” Ezzie frowned at the culprit where she lay in the chair.
“Familiars? Potter house brownies?”
“Yep. Sherry’s a feline familiar who doesn’t change into human form. If anything it makes her more superior acting than one that can change.”
“You’re crazy, aren’t you. I can’t let you take her with you if you’re crazy. There’s no telling what you’d do to her. Goodnight.” Josh closed the door quickly, locking it.
“Well,” he said to his house guest, “that was interesting. I’m going to wash this bowl and then go to bed. I showed you where the litter box is, so use it if you need it. Goodnight to you.”
He lay in bed reviewing the measures he’d taken of cat proofing his house and decided that it would have to do. The bedroom door was closed so there wouldn’t be any stomping of 30 pounds a paw on his body to wake him, tomorrow was a Saturday. There was food out and water and a clean cat box, yes he’d checked. No need to get up early. Sometime in the night there was the click of the door as it opened and then…
“Sherry, you put him back. He’s not like a mouse you can bring home to me,” was quietly hissed.
“I’m pregnant,” was hissed back, “even Josh could tell. I’ll need two people to help me once the kittens are born. You, my wizardy Easy, and I will be working on magic and someone needs to watch over the kits. Besides you need someone to take care of you. No more bringing home strangers to play with, with my kittens in the house. Did you think I wouldn’t notice with all the noises you make when you get up someone’s ass? Josh at least won’t get pregnant, like some of the others.”
“He’s not magical.”
“Yes, he is.. on his father’s side a long way back. He’ll acclimate and he’s got vacation coming up soon. He’s purrfect.”
“Sherry. No.”
From the bed came a sleepy voice, “alright, I believe you. Will you both go to sleep and we’ll all” Josh pulled the pillow over his ear his, “talk in the morning,” ended with a yawn. “Harry Potter…. Sheesh.”
“You’d better give him a good morning wakeup so he’ll be nice and mellow,” was hissed at Ezzie.
A hand rose from the bedding, pointed at the door and the words, “Allakhazam,” were plainly mumbled into the blankets. Somehow Sherry was out in the hallway and the door slammed shut.
Ezzie looked at the warm cuddly man in his bed in amazement and shrugged, pulling Josh into his arms to snuggle before himself falling asleep. Morning was going to be interesting. He ignored the muted laughter that moved off down the hallway.
Title: The Takeover
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 977
It was late. Josh said as much to his house guest where she lounged in ‘his’, comfy and sometimes place to sleep, tv chair. He picked up the now neatly washed bowl, since she was done licking it, a bowl that was supposed to lure her out of ‘his’ recliner chair to the floor. In the end he’d picked it up and put it next to her, where upon she’d made short work of it. The bowl was still in his hand when the doorbell rang.
“If this is for you, you’re going to have to go outside and socialize with them. It’s bedtime for me,” Josh called over his shoulder as he opened the door.
A laugh came from the person on the other side of the screen door. “Sherry, short for Scheherazade, giving you problems? She does have a mind of her own.”
“Your cat?”
“I don’t know if you could really call her mine,” was said with amusement. “I think she considers me hers and now you too. Might as well get used to it.”
( Read more... )
Okay, yeah, these things are true for the most part... for us.
But is this really how others see us?
18 Odd Things About America That Americans Think Are Normal
1. Other countries don't tip.
Elsewhere in the world, servers' wages are not dependent on tips. In many places, a tip is only given in cases of exceptional service. A tip is considered a bonus for going above and beyond—not the norm!
2. Portion sizes in the U.S. are ridiculously large.
Americans love their food! From BBQ to Chicago-style deep dish pizza, American food is some of the best that there is. One thing about American restaurants that baffles people from around the globe is the massive portion sizes. What can we say? There is nothing worse than finishing a meal and still being hungry.
3. Free refills aren't a thing in other countries.
Soda in the U.S. flows freely in all of its high-fructose corn syrupy glory! In almost any restaurant in America, soda refills are free. Americans take this for granted. When you go to other countries, expect to pay for each beverage you consume.
Ice tea and coffee too, oh and ice water.
4. Americans waste a lot of water.
Toilets in America use a lot of water! Americans shower daily. We water our lawns, even when it's raining. Foreigners see this behavior and they're often shocked. Other places in the world are in desperate need of water while we just let it run down the drain. In general, Americans have a more wasteful attitude toward resources than other countries.
5. Americans are obsessed with college sports.
College athletes are worshipped in America. Aren't they just students playing sports? Those in other countries are baffled by this treatment. Imagine how they'll react when they find out a growing number of sports fans want college athletes to be paid and treated as professional athletes!
6. We put sugar in bread.
Americans tend to have a sweet tooth. Bread in the U.S. is full of sugar. For that matter, most foods in America are full of sugar. It's unsettling to some foreign guests.
7. Did we mention we put sugar in everything?
Not only do we purchase processed foods that are full of sugar, we then add more sugar at the table. Whether it be coffee, tea, or strawberries, Americans never miss a chance to add some sugar.
8. We put cheese in a can.
Cheese isn't supposed to come in a can. It's just not. Aerosol cheese is not just puzzling to outsiders, it's an insult to all of the dairy farmers and cows out there.
9. We're a country filled with loud—but friendly—people.
Outsiders find people in America to be generally really loud and unnervingly friendly (although this partially depends on which area of the country you are in). It just isn't normal in many other countries to strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you on the bus.
10. We have our own colloquial phrases.
America is a huge place, so common phrases and their meanings differ from region to region. It isn't difficult to see how non-Americans could be confused by many phrases that we use daily without even thinking about them, such as "What's up?" and "Let's hang out."
11. Our bathroom stalls lack privacy.
Using the toilet in a public restroom in America is a risky endeavor. With toilets low to the ground and large gaps in between the walls and door, American public toilets can leave one yearning for just a little more privacy.
12. Businesses spend tons of money on warnings and waivers.
Because people are so quick to sue each other in the United States, product labels are covered with warnings and people have to sign waivers to do the simplest things.
13. We also put pickles on stuff.
Americans love to put pickles on everything. And why not? They are tasty, salty, vinegary, and go well with everything! It is not as common to put pickles on every sandwich—and every plate containing a sandwich—in other countries.
14. Sales taxes are added to the bill at the end of the transaction.
In America, sales taxes are calculated only when all of the items are rung up. In most other countries, the tax price is already figured into the goods. So if you see something on the shelf priced at 2 euros, that's how much you will pay at the register. This is a constant frustration for non-Americans whenever they attempt to purchase anything in the United States.
15. Americans eat at "odd" times.
In America, lunch is traditionally served at noon, and dinner is around 6:30 in the evening. Dinner in some European countries isn't served until as late as 9:00 p.m.
16. Lawyers advertise their services.
Regardless of whether the reputation is deserved, lawyers in America are often stereotyped. Advertisements on television, the internet, and print media paint a picture of assertive ambulance chasers who convince people they're needed, rather than the other way around.
17. We train our children to say the Pledge of Allegiance.
Americans children start saying the pledge in kindergarten and often continue to recite it daily throughout primary school. To people from other countries, seeing a bunch of children mindlessly pledging allegiance to a flag is a little...well, creepy.
18. We celebrate 'merica with almost rabid enthusiasm.
Our flag is on shirts, hats, cups, mugs—everywhere. You can't turn around without seeing a flag or two, especially around one of our many national holidays. People from other countries find this to be just a bit much.
But is this really how others see us?
18 Odd Things About America That Americans Think Are Normal
1. Other countries don't tip.
Elsewhere in the world, servers' wages are not dependent on tips. In many places, a tip is only given in cases of exceptional service. A tip is considered a bonus for going above and beyond—not the norm!
2. Portion sizes in the U.S. are ridiculously large.
Americans love their food! From BBQ to Chicago-style deep dish pizza, American food is some of the best that there is. One thing about American restaurants that baffles people from around the globe is the massive portion sizes. What can we say? There is nothing worse than finishing a meal and still being hungry.
3. Free refills aren't a thing in other countries.
Soda in the U.S. flows freely in all of its high-fructose corn syrupy glory! In almost any restaurant in America, soda refills are free. Americans take this for granted. When you go to other countries, expect to pay for each beverage you consume.
Ice tea and coffee too, oh and ice water.
4. Americans waste a lot of water.
Toilets in America use a lot of water! Americans shower daily. We water our lawns, even when it's raining. Foreigners see this behavior and they're often shocked. Other places in the world are in desperate need of water while we just let it run down the drain. In general, Americans have a more wasteful attitude toward resources than other countries.
5. Americans are obsessed with college sports.
College athletes are worshipped in America. Aren't they just students playing sports? Those in other countries are baffled by this treatment. Imagine how they'll react when they find out a growing number of sports fans want college athletes to be paid and treated as professional athletes!
6. We put sugar in bread.
Americans tend to have a sweet tooth. Bread in the U.S. is full of sugar. For that matter, most foods in America are full of sugar. It's unsettling to some foreign guests.
7. Did we mention we put sugar in everything?
Not only do we purchase processed foods that are full of sugar, we then add more sugar at the table. Whether it be coffee, tea, or strawberries, Americans never miss a chance to add some sugar.
8. We put cheese in a can.
Cheese isn't supposed to come in a can. It's just not. Aerosol cheese is not just puzzling to outsiders, it's an insult to all of the dairy farmers and cows out there.
9. We're a country filled with loud—but friendly—people.
Outsiders find people in America to be generally really loud and unnervingly friendly (although this partially depends on which area of the country you are in). It just isn't normal in many other countries to strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you on the bus.
10. We have our own colloquial phrases.
America is a huge place, so common phrases and their meanings differ from region to region. It isn't difficult to see how non-Americans could be confused by many phrases that we use daily without even thinking about them, such as "What's up?" and "Let's hang out."
11. Our bathroom stalls lack privacy.
Using the toilet in a public restroom in America is a risky endeavor. With toilets low to the ground and large gaps in between the walls and door, American public toilets can leave one yearning for just a little more privacy.
12. Businesses spend tons of money on warnings and waivers.
Because people are so quick to sue each other in the United States, product labels are covered with warnings and people have to sign waivers to do the simplest things.
13. We also put pickles on stuff.
Americans love to put pickles on everything. And why not? They are tasty, salty, vinegary, and go well with everything! It is not as common to put pickles on every sandwich—and every plate containing a sandwich—in other countries.
14. Sales taxes are added to the bill at the end of the transaction.
In America, sales taxes are calculated only when all of the items are rung up. In most other countries, the tax price is already figured into the goods. So if you see something on the shelf priced at 2 euros, that's how much you will pay at the register. This is a constant frustration for non-Americans whenever they attempt to purchase anything in the United States.
15. Americans eat at "odd" times.
In America, lunch is traditionally served at noon, and dinner is around 6:30 in the evening. Dinner in some European countries isn't served until as late as 9:00 p.m.
16. Lawyers advertise their services.
Regardless of whether the reputation is deserved, lawyers in America are often stereotyped. Advertisements on television, the internet, and print media paint a picture of assertive ambulance chasers who convince people they're needed, rather than the other way around.
17. We train our children to say the Pledge of Allegiance.
Americans children start saying the pledge in kindergarten and often continue to recite it daily throughout primary school. To people from other countries, seeing a bunch of children mindlessly pledging allegiance to a flag is a little...well, creepy.
18. We celebrate 'merica with almost rabid enthusiasm.
Our flag is on shirts, hats, cups, mugs—everywhere. You can't turn around without seeing a flag or two, especially around one of our many national holidays. People from other countries find this to be just a bit much.
Tick fell off a dog & put in the bag, where it lived for 6 wks. It laid eggs and the eggs hatched. This is why you should use flea &tick products on your pets, don't want that in your house!
Ticks are spiders who think of you as one big juicy bug.
Ticks are spiders who think of you as one big juicy bug.
Needless to say I will not be sharing this with my daughter, the mother of my grandson who is doing this type of learning his numbers with a die.
Title: Prodigy
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 333
A rattling sound preceded, “Eight.” Again there was the rattle of the die across the floor followed by the high young voice of her son, “Three.” Once more the die dropped and rolled on the tiles, “Nine.”
Abby smiled, not yet 2 years old and his teachers were saying that Joshua was much advanced for a child of his age. He hadn’t gotten to identifying and though he had gotten to calling out the names of the higher numbers of the twelve sided die, yet.
There was one very big problem with his obsession with the educational toy, the red die. His bedtimes were becoming nerve shredding. For an hour after he was put to bed the repeated whimpered word “Die,” could be heard from his bedroom calling for it. He was addicted. It was too small for him to have unsupervised in bed, a choking hazard. But the continued crying in the middle of the night was heart rending; sometimes while he’d be dreaming, sometimes when he woke himself; calling out plaintively for his “Die.”
She hoped that this was only a temporary fixation. Something to be outgrown as he developed more control in his environment. That’s what the baby book said. So Abby waited, offering other options to the hard rounded smooth sided die being in the bed with him. The pillow in the shape of a die worked for a short ten minutes. There’d been a trip to the dice store to choose a larger version of the red die. Joshua had chosen a yellow die from those available, but it was still his “red die” that he called for at bedtime.
Two weeks later she noticed; Joshua called out the number, “Five,” and then there was the sound of the drop and rolling of the die. “Two,” again the die rolled. “Three!”
Abby looked down at her son as he let the die fall and watched in bemused horror as the thing rolled, stopping to reveal the number 3.
Title: Prodigy
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 333
A rattling sound preceded, “Eight.” Again there was the rattle of the die across the floor followed by the high young voice of her son, “Three.” Once more the die dropped and rolled on the tiles, “Nine.”
Abby smiled, not yet 2 years old and his teachers were saying that Joshua was much advanced for a child of his age. He hadn’t gotten to identifying and though he had gotten to calling out the names of the higher numbers of the twelve sided die, yet.
There was one very big problem with his obsession with the educational toy, the red die. His bedtimes were becoming nerve shredding. For an hour after he was put to bed the repeated whimpered word “Die,” could be heard from his bedroom calling for it. He was addicted. It was too small for him to have unsupervised in bed, a choking hazard. But the continued crying in the middle of the night was heart rending; sometimes while he’d be dreaming, sometimes when he woke himself; calling out plaintively for his “Die.”
She hoped that this was only a temporary fixation. Something to be outgrown as he developed more control in his environment. That’s what the baby book said. So Abby waited, offering other options to the hard rounded smooth sided die being in the bed with him. The pillow in the shape of a die worked for a short ten minutes. There’d been a trip to the dice store to choose a larger version of the red die. Joshua had chosen a yellow die from those available, but it was still his “red die” that he called for at bedtime.
Two weeks later she noticed; Joshua called out the number, “Five,” and then there was the sound of the drop and rolling of the die. “Two,” again the die rolled. “Three!”
Abby looked down at her son as he let the die fall and watched in bemused horror as the thing rolled, stopping to reveal the number 3.
Pokemon Go
Jul. 21st, 2016 04:41 pmToday there were 2 tweens taking photos of a house down the street and another on a bike that passed our house with his smart phone in his hand. I called out to him 'Pokemon Go?' and he grinned and said yes. Ours is a quiet street but only one short hop from a busy 4 lane street.
*sighs* Peddling your bike and searching for pokemon, got to be the same as texting and driving, Yes?
Pokemon Go Database: Pokemon Go
www.pokemongodb.net
Although not required to play the game, Pokemon Go Plus will enable players to play the game without having to look at their smartphone.
I'm a Luddite and don't have a smart phone or as my sister says, "I've got a dumb phone."
*sighs* Peddling your bike and searching for pokemon, got to be the same as texting and driving, Yes?
Pokemon Go Database: Pokemon Go
www.pokemongodb.net
Although not required to play the game, Pokemon Go Plus will enable players to play the game without having to look at their smartphone.
I'm a Luddite and don't have a smart phone or as my sister says, "I've got a dumb phone."
Sorry if this offends but
Jun. 23rd, 2016 03:08 pmHas our House of Representatives gone bat shit into 6 to 8 year old behavior?!
Put a National or even state referendum on the ballot in November; to get an un-lobby polluted idea of what the people really want concerning No Fly, No Buy. Separate and unclouded by the two choices for President.
I don't call or write my Rep or Senator. Why when their minds are already made up for them by money donations to their campaigns?
If they saw how their constituents really think and know that their constituents know they now know, we might get some action that is more than 'here's the money, vote how we say.'
Put a National or even state referendum on the ballot in November; to get an un-lobby polluted idea of what the people really want concerning No Fly, No Buy. Separate and unclouded by the two choices for President.
I don't call or write my Rep or Senator. Why when their minds are already made up for them by money donations to their campaigns?
If they saw how their constituents really think and know that their constituents know they now know, we might get some action that is more than 'here's the money, vote how we say.'
This is hilarious and Meep you must show this to Mr. Meep.
He will love you even more.
Maybe not as much as this person's Mr loves them though.
http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/huge-victorian-antique-mirror/
Need more tags: lust, coveting,wtf (hmmm think I've already got that one)
( Read more... )
Do go click the link at the bottom to the object that a sliver of can be seen in the mirror.
The Huge Victorian Wardrobe
He will love you even more.
Maybe not as much as this person's Mr loves them though.
http://victoriaelizabethbarnes.com/huge-victorian-antique-mirror/
Need more tags: lust, coveting,
( Read more... )
Do go click the link at the bottom to the object that a sliver of can be seen in the mirror.
The Huge Victorian Wardrobe
A BURIAL MACHINE THAT WILL FREEZE YOUR CORPSE, VIBRATE IT TO DUST, AND TURN IT INTO SOIL
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/a-burial-machine-that-will-freeze-your-corpse-vibrate-it-to-dust-and-turn-it-into-soil?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=atlas-page
Once you are turned into a human crystal, this machine will vibrate you into dust. (Photo: Youtube)
These days, the options for what to do with our bodies post-mortem are nearly limitless in their number and imagination. Want to be mummified? You got it. Rather become a corpse-powered mushroom farm? Sorted!
But what if you want to dispose of your body in the manner of an ecologically minded supervillain? That, too, is possible, via a process called promession.
Devised by Swedish biologist Susanne Wiigh-Mäsak, who spent 20 years developing the concept, promession is an elaborate decomposition system that takes a body, freezes it, vibrates it to dust, and dehydrates it, to create what the inventor claims is the most eco-friendly form of burial ever devised.( Read more... )
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/a-burial-machine-that-will-freeze-your-corpse-vibrate-it-to-dust-and-turn-it-into-soil?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=atlas-page
Once you are turned into a human crystal, this machine will vibrate you into dust. (Photo: Youtube)
These days, the options for what to do with our bodies post-mortem are nearly limitless in their number and imagination. Want to be mummified? You got it. Rather become a corpse-powered mushroom farm? Sorted!
But what if you want to dispose of your body in the manner of an ecologically minded supervillain? That, too, is possible, via a process called promession.
Devised by Swedish biologist Susanne Wiigh-Mäsak, who spent 20 years developing the concept, promession is an elaborate decomposition system that takes a body, freezes it, vibrates it to dust, and dehydrates it, to create what the inventor claims is the most eco-friendly form of burial ever devised.( Read more... )
Work Humor
Feb. 24th, 2016 12:42 pmThere is a little used hallway with a small vertical window in the door that from the Library we can see into. In that hallway the theater class has stored props, one of which is a tree. They are in process of rehearsing for a play and the tree keeps moving so sometimes we can see wall and sometimes the greenery of the tree.
I have now put a note on 'the tree'.
Birnam Wood.
It keeps moving-
perhaps looking for Dunsinane maybe?
*giggling*
I have now put a note on 'the tree'.
Birnam Wood.
It keeps moving-
perhaps looking for Dunsinane maybe?
*giggling*
Book Hangover - Why did no one tell me?
Aug. 5th, 2015 12:12 pm
It's not just the reading that does it. You can get this from writing one too. I am a Bookaholic.
Are we at War and we aren't being told?
Jul. 8th, 2015 02:10 pmNew York Stock Exchange Suspends Trading
Is This What The First World Cyber War Looks Like: Global Real Time Cyber Attack Map
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 07/08/2015 11:41 -0400
After a series of cyber failures involving first UAL, then this website, then the NYSE which is still halted, then the WSJ, some have suggested that this could be a concerted cyber attack (perhaps by retaliatory China unhappy its stocks are plunging) focusing on the US. So we decided to look at a real-time cyber attack map courtesy of Norsecorp which provides real time visibility into global cyber attacks.
What clearly stands out is that for some reason Chinese DDOS attacks/hackers seem to be focusing on St. Louis this morning.
Whether this is related to the series of suspicious cyber failures today, is so far unclear, although if there is a connection at least there is a way to keep track of the first global cyberwar in real-time
Is This What The First World Cyber War Looks Like: Global Real Time Cyber Attack Map
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 07/08/2015 11:41 -0400
After a series of cyber failures involving first UAL, then this website, then the NYSE which is still halted, then the WSJ, some have suggested that this could be a concerted cyber attack (perhaps by retaliatory China unhappy its stocks are plunging) focusing on the US. So we decided to look at a real-time cyber attack map courtesy of Norsecorp which provides real time visibility into global cyber attacks.
What clearly stands out is that for some reason Chinese DDOS attacks/hackers seem to be focusing on St. Louis this morning.
Whether this is related to the series of suspicious cyber failures today, is so far unclear, although if there is a connection at least there is a way to keep track of the first global cyberwar in real-time
