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A lot of substances we think of as protection against the supernatural (ie. salt, silver, garlic) are actually antibacterial, and would have helped stave off infections and illnesses that people once attributed to supernatural influences.
Based on this, I want to see a story where vampires are repelled by hand sanitizer.
****************************
Me: *Withdraws a small bottle from my pocket"
Vampire: Foolish mortal your holy water won't work on me
Me: *reveals my bottle of Whipped Marshmallow Pumpkin scented hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works*
Vampire: Oh Fuck
*********************************
Will they develop a yearly or more often immunization next?
Available at your neighborhood pharmacy?
Based on this, I want to see a story where vampires are repelled by hand sanitizer.
****************************
Me: *Withdraws a small bottle from my pocket"
Vampire: Foolish mortal your holy water won't work on me
Me: *reveals my bottle of Whipped Marshmallow Pumpkin scented hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works*
Vampire: Oh Fuck
*********************************
Will they develop a yearly or more often immunization next?
Available at your neighborhood pharmacy?
official_Ikhamilton
Them: Hello sir, may I have your name?
Me: No, you may not have my name, but you may call me John.
Them: Sir, this is a DMV and I am not a fae.
Me: Oh? Then you wouldn't mind holding this iron horseshoe then, right?
*DMV clerk begins to sweat nervously*
official_Ikhamilton Hmmmm
Fae working at the DMV, would that make it more or less efficient?
Them: Hello sir, may I have your name?
Me: No, you may not have my name, but you may call me John.
Them: Sir, this is a DMV and I am not a fae.
Me: Oh? Then you wouldn't mind holding this iron horseshoe then, right?
*DMV clerk begins to sweat nervously*
official_Ikhamilton Hmmmm
Fae working at the DMV, would that make it more or less efficient?
Paraprosdokians
Jun. 30th, 2021 12:25 amParaprosdokians - figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting
it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put "DOCTOR."
11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There's a fine line between cuddling and...holding someone down so they can't get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
19. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
21. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
23. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
24. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting
it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put "DOCTOR."
11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There's a fine line between cuddling and...holding someone down so they can't get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
19. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
21. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
23. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
24. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.
Um.....This is why I go low tech
Dec. 22nd, 2020 11:32 pmHave no idea how to resolve this.
Unplug it maybe?
Unplug it maybe?
When a Tree Knocks....
Dec. 3rd, 2020 09:25 pm
Ash Winter: this is fae propaganda if I ever saw it
Fae being: *knocks*
Fae being: Greetings I am your *checks notes* Christmas tree. May I please come in. I am definitely not here to scuttle about your house while you sleep, scare your pets, and steal your odd socks.
Do It Yourself Face Mask
Apr. 17th, 2020 01:14 am2(9" x 6" squares)******* this is so wrong *snickers* measure distance from ear to ear and fold fabric before cutting.
2(7" elastics) measure what you need and adjust.
Put fabric right sides together, fold so elastic is inside the folded fabric.
Sew elastic to corners of fabric.
I'm going to try this and tweek
2(7" elastics) measure what you need and adjust.
Put fabric right sides together, fold so elastic is inside the folded fabric.
Sew elastic to corners of fabric.
I'm going to try this and tweek
Tumblr Explores Human Nature with "Knife Roomba"
https://cheezburger.com/10823685/tumblr-explores-human-nature-with-knife-roomba?fbclid=IwAR1DLjX3FxPRaNyv0bRNp5bU5Y4xDUPMEr3GR8YxUm7199bXZGXJbI3kUd0
One of Tumblr's favorite things to do is expound on human nature in discussions, essays and threads about the role human beings as team "hold my beer" in the universe. It's generally regarded, out of self interest and flattery that we're basically badass space orcs. These kinds of discussions go on to describe Earth as the type of planet whose wildlife could fight off an alien invasion. So in this context, the idea that a human ship would have a knife Roomba affectionately referred to as "Stabby" not only makes perfect sense, but sort of makes us want to get one right now.
( Read more... )
https://cheezburger.com/10823685/tumblr-explores-human-nature-with-knife-roomba?fbclid=IwAR1DLjX3FxPRaNyv0bRNp5bU5Y4xDUPMEr3GR8YxUm7199bXZGXJbI3kUd0
One of Tumblr's favorite things to do is expound on human nature in discussions, essays and threads about the role human beings as team "hold my beer" in the universe. It's generally regarded, out of self interest and flattery that we're basically badass space orcs. These kinds of discussions go on to describe Earth as the type of planet whose wildlife could fight off an alien invasion. So in this context, the idea that a human ship would have a knife Roomba affectionately referred to as "Stabby" not only makes perfect sense, but sort of makes us want to get one right now.
