charisstoma: (Default)
lightning seen through the doors

Title: A Flash of Lightning
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 398


It is an odd way of finding out your current love interest is really a cat, Tim thought. Not that he was biased against cats or humans that turned into cats or vice versa.

The clouds had glowered for most of the day and so it wasn’t all that surprising when the rain had started. Alex had been drawn to sit legs, gathered under him in front of the windows, looking out at the storm and periodically putting up a finger to the glass where a rivulet wandered down outside, as if to catch it.

Tim watched him watching the rain and smiled. He could grow used to the view. Someplace in his soul rose a wanting to do something, he wasn’t sure what but it demanded a physical appreciation of the man seated with his legs under him looking out the window. Perhaps it was a need to gather Alex up in his arms but there was something restful about his posture, something reverent, that Tim didn’t want to trespass.Read more... )
charisstoma: (Default)
Twinkle Tush: The Holiday Gift That Will Make Any Cat Lover Blush
http://start.att.net/news/read/category/news/article/people-twinkle_tush_the_holiday_gift_that_will_make_any_c-rtime
twinkle tush

Cats have no shame, a fact made clear by felines’ frequent, proud displays of their rear ends.

Unlike humans, kitties are not required to cover up their naughty bits in a public space, leaving owners and guests with plenty of unwanted opportunities to stare at the bit of kitty that can be found right below the tail … until now.

Censorship has reached the cat world thanks to Twinkle Tush, which promises to keep your cat’s booty “veiled and safe.” The simple invention is just a bracelet that goes around your cat’s tail, allowing the Twinkle Tush’s pendant to hang down and cover any offensive anatomy.

Can’t get enough of cats, dogs and other furry friends? Click here to get the cutest pet news and photos delivered directly to your inbox.

It’s the perfect present for the feline fanatic in your life — as a gag gift. As Twinkle Tush makes clear on its website, it’s not looking to oppress cats or their bodies, just to have a little fun.

You can buy this sparkly prank for the cat person in your life for a low price that is sure to provide maximum laughs.

Or as another site put it:
http://odditymall.com/twinkle-tush-jewel-cat-butt-hider

The Twinkle Tush is essentially a little necklace that you can wrap around the base of your cats tail that has a little jewel that hangs off it to cover your cat's butt-hole. What's worse than having some people over only to have your cat walk out in the room flaunting it's uncovered butt-hole all over the house. As your guests see your cats anus, your Grandmother gasps in horror, your mother faints to the floor. If only there were a better way! Simply put the butt-hole necklace over your cat's tail and the shame your cat walks around with will be hidden from view. The only probably is, when they go to take a dump, you're going to end up with an ass bling full of shit.

In case you're wondering, the Twinkle Tush is a real product, and although it's probably just a gag-gift, I'm sure someone out there is going to use it for real. Whatever your reason for grabbing a Twinkle Tush is, just know that it not only covers your cats bung-hole, but it does it in style with some bling! Your cat will be walking around like they own the place.
cost: $5.99 But the Buy links don't work on this article.

charisstoma: (Default)
the spider expert

My sister's cat blew up in a furry way on seeing one spider. So not a experts are the same.
charisstoma: (Default)
Title: When One Lives with a Familiar
Original post of the article: What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 569

kitten sleeping
Credit: vita khorzhevska | Shutterstock

“Dirty Litter Box!”, came from the other room. Morris raised his eyebrows. That was a combination of words not usually heard in their home. It was followed by an outraged, “Why would anyone even write about something like this?” Perhaps he needed to investigate.

“What?”

“Just look at this.” Lyric stamped a paw on the Ipad screen on the floor and then growled when the screen changed.

Morris smiled, in his mind he could see his kitten hissing, running through the house to return and attack the Ipad.

“I KNOW what you’re thinking. I’m not a kitten. Fix this! NOW!”

“Try please.”

There was a growled, “Pllllleeeese. Sometimes I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You’re just frustrated. You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

“Am not.”

“Okay.” Morris said and muttered, “but you are,” as he picked up the Ipad recovering the previous page.

Lyric’s, “I can hear you, you know. SEEE. Read that,” was followed with a hissed spit.

“Hmmm. Catches the attention all right.”

“Look at the photo of the dead kitten!”

“There’s a caption. ‘Kitten sleeping on its back.’ Not dead. The photo is of a sleeping kitten.” Quickly he scanned from the title, ‘What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?’ through the rest of the article.

“Okay it says, and I quote, "Experts say that if all the world's cats suddenly died, things would quickly go to hell in a handbasket." "Cats, both pets and strays, may fool us into thinking that they depend on our food and trash for survival, but ... they're expert predators with adaptable hunting behaviors." "They are a significant predator of small animals, and can survive as almost solitary animals when the prey is scarce, while thriving in high density when the prey is abundant, ..."”

“Essentially the article is about how cats are responsible for controlling pests like rats and mice which eat grain and that without cats humans would have less food. Then there’s statistics supporting the impact of cats on those pests. That without cats, the increase of rodents would trigger a cascade of other ecological effects.”

It says, “"In this country, cats are much loved by many. While there are more dog-owning households (38 percent) than cat- owning households (34 percent), there are actually more domestic cats than dogs because cat owners own more of them." Hmmm, wonder if I should get another cat,” drew a growl from Lyric and a smile from Morris as he continued, “"Cats as pets have always been appreciated for the contact, relatively low maintenance, and pedomorphic (that means child-like) face and general morphology."” Putting down the Ipad, he turned to look down at Lyric. “See not a bad article at all. Makes one read through all the information supporting the importance of cats, even familiar ones.”

Lyric sat looking up at Morris.

With a sighed, “Okay,” Morris walked into the kitchen, reaching high up into the cabinet to retrieve the special small bowl that was Lyric’s and a can of canned salmon pate. Pulling the tab that resulted in the distinctive pop and swoosh sound of an opening can, he carefully spooned out the contents. There was a brush of fur against and between his lower legs.

“You could have just asked for food, you know.”

Lyric stopped to look up at him. “Now where would be the fun in that?” before he applied himself to the yummy salmon.
charisstoma: (Default)
Arath/Poof, Malakishel/ Kish, Elert/ Kormier (Squeeky), Familiar Studies 101

Title: The Herb Shop (Part 5)
All in the Familiar Animal Shelter series - "On the Streets"
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 599

“I’ve had a call from a someone named Kish, who said he’s Arath’s Dad. He asked if everything was alright, that Arath is worried, not having seen you in class.”

Poof groomed a stray bit of fur better into place before answering Elert, the wizard half of his familiar-wizard family. “The ‘From Demon Concealment’ tonic you helped me with has been working. He never knew I was even in the area.” More smuggly, “Not that he didn’t look around.”

Elert nodded, “So it’s effective administered in a spray. Good to know.” He smiled, “Will let it be known on a need to know level. It’s handy to be undetectable to demon in some situations.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“The truth, of course.” As Poof’s eyes rounded, “Squeeky’s been fractious lately and you were staying home more with your Papa in case it might be infectious. Always best to mix the truth in with an evasion and that doesn’t work against parents,” was added severely, “just in case you thought to try it with us.”

“Me?” Poof innocently said.

“I was once young too, you know,” was grinned back. “Showing teeth in a wide yawn is only impressive if the individual it’s being done in front of to impress isn’t onto that person’s tricks.”

“Hmmm,” Poof hummed and was rewarded by Elert’s laugh.

Kormier wandered in with Squeeky dangling from his mouth, mumbling around kitten, “Wha yu tethin tha kittan?”

“Lying effectively without lying,” brought Kormier to a pause to look at his mate before his leaping up onto Poof’s bed and arranging himself and Squeeky.

“It’s not good lying to a demon. Gives them too much leverage if they catch you in it,” he reminded Elert and Poof. “So be careful and when in doubt, don’t. You will need to face him again though, soon. No sense pushing your young demon-wizard into doing something rash you’ll both regret.”

Poof sighed and nodded. “I don’t know how.”

Shrugging Kormier said, “Bump into him before class on your terms. Since you’ve been wearing the tonic, I suggest you don’t spray it on in the morning. No sense alerting him that you’ve been hiding in plain sight from him. Be clear with him about what you expect from him but let him try to explain himself first.”

Elert had winced during Kormier’s advice but he’d nodded, “Listen to your Dad. It works real well.”

Kormier laughed, “You didn’t require all that much training. Difficult to improve upon perfection.”

“You’re going to leave Squeeky here for me to mind while you two have couple’s time.” Poof observed; he knew the signs.
“He’s played and been fed and washed. He should be about ready to fall asleep soon. You could read your text book to him.”

“It’s the part about comparing courtship between the various cultures and how it affects cross-cultural interactions,” Poof informed his Dad askance.

“Well,” Kormier paused and took a breath, “that will be good practice and information for a certain difficult conversation tomorrow.”

“Ooooo-kay,” was responded doubtfully and earned a laugh from both his parents.

It did help though, Poof found. He could comment to Squeeky, an obviously impartial listener, on each point he thought was important and would be useful. Almost he was sorry when Squeeky fell asleep and he had to give up his monologue for fear of waking him. So he went back to the beginning and took notes on what he’d read and continued through the rest of the material. He could use them as an ice breaker when he talked to Arath tomorrow before class.
charisstoma: (Default)


Title: Dog and Cat Drinking Together
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 746


“You think they’ll be long?”

Fred turned his head from his water bowl to look in disbelief at Don. “Surely you know about humans, and even if they’re wizards they’re still humans. They don’t do a simple mating thing. They tend to take their time and after that they tend to fall asleep cuddling together. And often they do it all again sometimes waking the other to mate again and again.” He sighed. “This may be an all night thing since you’re over here too.”

Don’s eyes widened, “That’s why he brought my stuff over here.”

“Yep.”

“Where do I sleep then?”

“Couch, chair, spare bedroom;” Fred did a dog shrug, “but I warn you, if you decide to sleep there it’s my bed too.”

“I like to sleep between the sheets.”

“So do I but I’m in my human form.”

“Oh. You wear pajamas?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.” Don looked away down into the second water bowl. “You mind if I stay in my cat form?”

“Scaredy cat?”

“Cautious cat. I may shed my fur but I’ve never done human naked in bed with anyone and my pajamas aren’t in the things Tony packed. I watched him closely.”

“What did you think he was packing so many of your things for?”

“We’d stay late, like maybe after 11 o’clock, and he knows I’m finicky. I don’t want to eat dog food if I get hungry and since you might not get to eat anything except dog food if you’re in canine form.”

“And the blanket?”

“My blanket, that I like to cuddle into if it’s cool and there’s no sunlight to sun in. You might be one of those families that like to turn the A/C down cool.”

“Yeah, we do do that at night for bedtime.”

“So, you think they’re going to be in there long?”

Fred sighed and told himself not to roll his eyes. “Yes.”

“It’s already 11 o’clock.”

“So it is.”

Don sighed, “Spare bedroom is where?”

“Want to use the outdoor cat box first?”

“No.” Don shuddered. “I’ll use the indoor facilities.”

“We’ve got no cat box and you didn’t bring one.”

Don sniffed, “I know how to use the toilet and flush it after. You’ll have to put the seat down for me if it’s up.”

“Ooooh an educated cat. That’s handy. I use my human form for the necessities. Even know how to operate the can opener.”

“Really? Before I leave would you show me how. Might come in handy sometime.”

“Sure. No problem. Gotta be in human form though.”

“Why do you have dog food then?”

“Cheaper. Isn’t too bad especially if Alex pours gravy over top of it and if a regular human visits they expect to see dog food down for me to eat if I get hungry. Usually we eat the same thing though.”

“Tony doesn’t think of that. He says things like cats have special needs in their food and because he’s really aware of that ash thing in foods I eat,” Don sighed. “He’s careful. I probably should be in my human form more. Humans can eat pretty anything they want and he forgets I can be human.”
“Want to start practicing that human form thing tonight?”

“I don’t know you well enough to do that and sleep with you. I don’t tom cat around.”

“Fair enough. I’ll put the seat down for you and show you where the spare room is before I shower.”

“Dry well. Wet skin and fur don’t go well together.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Right.”

Alex heard the shower start a short time of the flushing of the toilet. He turned over and cuddled close. “Fred’s getting ready for bed. Don going to be okay?”

“He knows how to use the toilet. Expect he’ll curl up someplace with his blanket.”

Tony felt Alex smile against his cheek and turned into the kiss.

Sometime in the night Alex got up and checked things, returning to bed to tell Tony about how cute Fred looked with Don sleeping on his chest, his small cat head just sticking out from below the bedding.

“That’s the way he sleeps with me. He’s already training Fred.”

“Good. You’re time in bed is going to be taken frequently.”

“Good, often and well. You want to receive this time though?”

“A little sore?”

“No, I’m good. Equal time.”

Alex rolled over, “You are definitely good either way.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”

Chuckling, “Everywhere? I’ll remember that.”

More cats

Jun. 9th, 2017 12:53 pm
charisstoma: (Default)
Not a kitten
That's not a kitten. Potatoes are needed for some arcane spells?


any port in a storm cat
Any port in a storm?


cat sitting way up

Umm...


cat licking tail
Well my tail won't clean itself.


I
The cat version of, "I've fallen and can't get uppppp, um I mean down."


cat - one of those neighbors
One of those neighbors.
charisstoma: (Default)
demon dogs

Deal with your demon-possessed dogs elsewhere.
https://www.facebook.com/EnglishLanguageEnthusiast/photos/a.769434386525936.1073741845.118506828285365/800019663467408/?type=3&theater


Title: Sign
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 212


“It’s okay. You’re a cat familiar.”

“But it’s the whole concept of the thing. First it’s dogs and next it’ll be others. I could see it if it were a Hell hound. There’s the whole fire safety thing but demon dogs can be perfectly okay or they shouldn’t be allowed in normal public areas and definitely not in the rough of golf courses.”

“And what would make a demon dog be okay?”

Felix was about to answer but a tall dark haired man spoke.

“Demon dogs could be amongst you and you’d never know. We can act civilized, you know.”

Felix looked up at the man, then looked at Bruce, then back at the man. His tail swished lazily back and forth and his ears folded back. “This was a private conversation. I don’t need the help of a dog in whatever form you’re in. Leave.”

The man gave a low growl but the trickle of a magic more potent than his own must have convinced him to polite behavior. He turned and left.

“See. Demon Dogs can be just fine,” Felix nonchalantly sat and licked his paw.

“And yet you drove him off.”

“Well, he’s a dog, no matter what form he’s in, and he doesn’t have to be near me.”

Nature

May. 12th, 2017 11:25 am
charisstoma: (Default)
Title: When a Child has been Sick
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 249

“He’s looking better,” Manc commented watching their son outside on the lawn in the growing darkness of dusk. “Good thing none of them are of the fae .”

“Amazing what a good season with rain will do to the insect population, isn’t it?” Allen responded. There was a gasp, “Are Lightning Bugs poisonous?” “Didn’t know he jump that high,” was said with awe.

“Well he is my son.”

“I’m going to get a glass jar. It’ll be interesting for him to see a Lightning Bug up close.”
Manc looked at Allen, “Like eating one isn’t up close….”

“Hush you.”

2 Lightning Bugs were captured. An event ignored by their son who was more intent on his own fun.

“You should really let them go soon. They’re out there to mate and produce the next generation.
You’re impeding next year’s Lightning Bug population.”

“Uhmmm. Too late.” Allen said looking into the jar.

“What?” Manc eyed his husband anxiously doubting his sanity.

“They’re.. um.. already attached.”

“You mean of all the Lightning Bugs in the backyard, you caught two compatible bugs who decided to mate with each other?”

“Yep,”

“Ooooookay.”

From inside the jar, “Oh baby, yes just like that,” had Manc and Allen look shocked at the jar and then each other.

“Wait a bit but put them outside before our kitten comes back in. I don’t think I’m ready to explain the facts of procreation yet.”

Allen glanced at Manc’s tummy and grinned. “We’re going to have to soon.”


Lightning bugs
charisstoma: (Default)
Mind meld

This is a cat telling you you're trusted.

I think it's familiars communicating across species.
charisstoma: (Default)
bird vs. Mantis

Title: When Bird meets Mantis
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 449


Vis was not going to let a good meal go to waste even if he wasn’t hungry, that’s not the way his parents brought him up. ‘You never can know when you will find food,’ was a favorite adage of theirs. So he swooped down on the mantis and watched in awed surprise as the crazy thing reared up with its forelegs positioned to grab prey. At almost the last minute he pulled up but it wasn’t going to be enough and so he shifted.

The mantis should have bounced off Vis’ greater bulk but Vis found himself thudding into a larger body which took the brunt of the impact as they both hit the ground. Vis was on top but that quickly changed too.

“Well hello to you too,” said the man with the greenest eyes Vis had ever seen.

“You’re the mantis?” Vis asked gloomily.

With a grin, “Yep.”

“Well Ants! “

The other shifter laughed, “Language.”

“Yeah, well how would you feel if you found a good meal who turned out to not be meal eligible.”

“Oh you can eat me but not quite the way you were thinking,” the mantis now man purred, “I wouldn’t mind that at all. In fact I’d make it worth your while but I claim reciprocal service, at least until we get to know each other better. Don’t mind a blow job from a stranger but for more well….”

“Oooo-kay:
1. We haven’t been introduced.
2. I don’t put out anything on first meeting. “
The stranger grinned.
”3. Um, I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“Never?”

“Never,” Vis said firmly blushing, “And you’re getting heavy.”
The weight atop him eased a bit as the mantis levered himself up a bit onto his elbows.

“Ptery, with a P. Feeling very happy to meet you,” his hips ground into Vis’ belly rubbing against him.

“Happy, huh? Is that what you call it.”

“Yes, yes it is. Soon to be happier, I hope. And you would be….”

“Vis. I’d say pleased to meet you but … you know.”

There was a sigh, “Yeah. I know. How about a do over? Meet you here in an hour?”

“How will I know its you?”
“I won’t be in my insect persona.”

“Okay. Um it might be better if you could find some clothing to put on too.”

Ptery grinned, “I’d say the same to you but I like the view and feel too much.”

“Perve.” Vis grinned.

“One kiss before you go?”

“I don’t put out on first meetings.”

“Vis, you do realise that kissing’s not putting out, don’t you?”

“Yep,” Vis chirped and flew off to get clothed. He had a date.
charisstoma: (default)


Meep said: no no no bad enough the cat trying to drink coffee all the time

Title: It was a Dark and Rainy Night
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 677

The glinting drops of rain falling caught the lights of a pub and the only inviting doorway in the dark. If there was alcohol surely there’d be coffee to take the chill out of his body while his fur dried. It had seemed the best option to be in his feline form, smaller and faster, to avoid the wetness. More fool him.

Morris flitted through the door as a leaving patron came out. Warmth, darkness lit with spots of light especially at the bar, and a congenial ambiance enveloped him and he didn’t even try to stop his purr. The lit bar drew him to leap up onto a stool, the words, “Coffee please,” spilling from his mouth.

“You sure you’re in the right place?” came from the dog on the seat next to him.

The barman had already moved down the bar to a hotplate picking up a mug on the way.

“I’d say so,” Morris purred as the barman automatically reached for the creamer. The man was not stupid.

“This is a canine bar. Pussies aren’t wanted here,”

Read more... )

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