charisstoma: (Default)
What's the dumbest beliefs you had as a child?

When I was 4 or 5, I swore that birdseeds grew birds, thus the name.
When my parents asked me to prove it to them, I planted a pile of birdseeds.
The next day there were loads of birds where I'd planted the seeds, showing I was right.

Don't think it would work well at my house. Then again it would be good for the outside kittens hunting skills classes.

Title: Birdseed
Author: charisstoma
Words: 612

“No! Leave the birdseed alone”, I heard from the next aisle over. “You can’t grow birds from seeds.”

The answering cute kitten mews protesting made me smile.
I was a feral, raised separate from the corruption of the magic world but it didn’t keep me from appreciating the cuteness of kittens. No one was immune, well except the people that raised me and even they couldn’t resist the kitten I’d been.

They’d learned their lesson though, I was an only kitten and kept separate from other familiar cats. Don’t know how they got a birth certificate for me. Home schooled until I was old enough not to suddenly transform into my feline form. It was 7th grade when I was tossed into the regular public educational system and, if not for having being taken shopping, wouldn’t have know how to react to my human peers. There was a learning curve but I never shifted in public and rarely at home.

If I was late getting home, my parents would go off on how I couldn’t go out ‘tom catting around’. It was too dangerous to my self control, they’d say. Still did go out the window sometimes at night, after my parents were busy doing mating exercises. Figured I could do ‘transformation’ exercises before they would notice I’d been out, and I was careful.

A saying they’d stressed, “Naughty kittens if caught would be taken away and terrible things would happen, like neutering.”

After a while, though I still could change into a cat, I didn’t want to change into one.

Still… couldn’t help the meow I gave the kittens from the next aisle over and grinned. Plenty of people could meow believably without being thought a cat in human form, odd but not feline. I smiled and reached to take down a couple cans of cat food. Didn’t do it often but the mix of flavors was a tasty infrequent sandwich spread.

I glanced around and made my way to the checkout. The kittens were not in sight and neither was the adults with them but I could swear I felt eyes on me. Good thing I’d parked far enough away in the crowded lot and there were plenty of stores in the complex, so enough traffic to not pinpoint one person leaving. The dazzle of the sun hit my side view mirror for a second and then was gone. Probably nothing.

“You tag him?”

“Yep. You know we can’t make him come in if he doesn’t want to.”

“Still, got an image of his face and the tracker will make his car find-able. Someone might want to check him out.”

“You’re such a matchmaker. You think he’s mage or familiar mate material?”

“Doesn’t matter. He just needs his chance or whoever finds him interesting needs a chance. You found me and look how well that worked out.”

“I found you after you put yourself where I would find you. Think the kittens will go down for a nap soon?”

There were mews of denial from the kittens but the sleepy curled up kitten pile was dropped off at the academy’s nursery and they were able to get in a quick afternoon delight on the desk before work.

The ambrosia of coffee helped ward off sleep until after they picked up their kittens to go home for baths, nursing and cuddles before bed.

Next morning there was an email with one word, “Where?”

Chortling resulted, “Thought it would be him.”

“So soon?”

“Believe it. I’m a talented matchmaker.”

A hummed nuzzle behind an ear answered, “You found me, so how can I deny that.”

A purred, “You can’t. I caught you.”
charisstoma: (Default)
The Door in the Field 2

Title: The Door in the Field
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 2130
Yes there's sex under the influence


It was a grassy woodland field complete with rocks piled up on one side and… an ornately decorated paneled door with glazed pane windows on the upper half. Why would anyone put such a thing here? There was nothing behind it when viewed from the side, what he could see not wanting to get closer to the thing, just more of the rough field with backdrop of trees.

“Looks interesting,” was said behind him. “Get closer.”

Without turning to see what the voice was behind him, “No. You want to get closer to it, then you go inspect it. I’ll just stay here and probably leave soon after.” He felt rather than heard a body move behind him, though how he knew he wasn’t sure. There was no touch of movement in the air, nor to his person.

”You know you want to discover what it is. I’ll be right behind you,” was said encouragingly almost in his ear, a hint of amusement underlying in the voice.

“Again; if you’re curious then be my guest.”

“Excellent,” was purred, “I believe I will.”

The purr was his, usurped by whoever was behind him. Oracle was the familiar here and if the voice behind him had been another familiar, than he would have sensed him when the presence had first spoken.

“I believe that I’ll just leave you to your activities then. I’ve better things to do with my time.” Without turning towards whatever was behind him, he walked away at a tangent from the door, the sight of the rocks visible on the edge of his vision.

Laughter answered him and an arm looped around his waist drawing him back against a hard body. His arms were caught in that encirclement and the breath of the laughter stirred his hair from a higher angled mouth than his own.

“But you did give me permission. Be my guest you said.” A rubbing of skin against his temple accompanied the amused words, “but I think you’ll be my guest. I have accommodations that I’m sure you will enjoy. It’s difficult to lure a familiar,” there was a cough, “or I should say seduce a familiar without the proper inducements to make them pliable.”

Oracle felt the sharp teeth latch onto his nape freezing his ability to struggle. His feet left the ground, body lifted by the arm around his waist and the solid strides as they moved to and through the door.
What happened through that doorway he wasn’t sure. After the silk blindfold came over his eyes and the scent of catnip enclosed him, it all became hazy.

Later when he woke in his bed, he wasn’t even sure it wasn’t all a dream, one filled with intensely erotic pleasure. His ass didn’t feel different, no sore stretched muscles well used that he’d heard his friends talk of, though his mouth did have a taste foreign to his normal morning breath. Was it all a dream?

It took him a few minutes to talk himself out of trying to think of how to crawl back into that dream and his cock was definitely interested. Later, for his own curiosity he’d have to see if he could retrace his steps and find that door in the grassy field, if it existed, just to see if there really was a door, and nothing else he told himself. ExpandRead more... )
charisstoma: (Default)
lightning seen through the doors

Title: A Flash of Lightning
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 398


It is an odd way of finding out your current love interest is really a cat, Tim thought. Not that he was biased against cats or humans that turned into cats or vice versa.

The clouds had glowered for most of the day and so it wasn’t all that surprising when the rain had started. Alex had been drawn to sit legs, gathered under him in front of the windows, looking out at the storm and periodically putting up a finger to the glass where a rivulet wandered down outside, as if to catch it.

Tim watched him watching the rain and smiled. He could grow used to the view. Someplace in his soul rose a wanting to do something, he wasn’t sure what but it demanded a physical appreciation of the man seated with his legs under him looking out the window. Perhaps it was a need to gather Alex up in his arms but there was something restful about his posture, something reverent, that Tim didn’t want to trespass.ExpandRead more... )
charisstoma: (Default)
Twinkle Tush: The Holiday Gift That Will Make Any Cat Lover Blush
http://start.att.net/news/read/category/news/article/people-twinkle_tush_the_holiday_gift_that_will_make_any_c-rtime
twinkle tush

Cats have no shame, a fact made clear by felines’ frequent, proud displays of their rear ends.

Unlike humans, kitties are not required to cover up their naughty bits in a public space, leaving owners and guests with plenty of unwanted opportunities to stare at the bit of kitty that can be found right below the tail … until now.

Censorship has reached the cat world thanks to Twinkle Tush, which promises to keep your cat’s booty “veiled and safe.” The simple invention is just a bracelet that goes around your cat’s tail, allowing the Twinkle Tush’s pendant to hang down and cover any offensive anatomy.

Can’t get enough of cats, dogs and other furry friends? Click here to get the cutest pet news and photos delivered directly to your inbox.

It’s the perfect present for the feline fanatic in your life — as a gag gift. As Twinkle Tush makes clear on its website, it’s not looking to oppress cats or their bodies, just to have a little fun.

You can buy this sparkly prank for the cat person in your life for a low price that is sure to provide maximum laughs.

Or as another site put it:
http://odditymall.com/twinkle-tush-jewel-cat-butt-hider

The Twinkle Tush is essentially a little necklace that you can wrap around the base of your cats tail that has a little jewel that hangs off it to cover your cat's butt-hole. What's worse than having some people over only to have your cat walk out in the room flaunting it's uncovered butt-hole all over the house. As your guests see your cats anus, your Grandmother gasps in horror, your mother faints to the floor. If only there were a better way! Simply put the butt-hole necklace over your cat's tail and the shame your cat walks around with will be hidden from view. The only probably is, when they go to take a dump, you're going to end up with an ass bling full of shit.

In case you're wondering, the Twinkle Tush is a real product, and although it's probably just a gag-gift, I'm sure someone out there is going to use it for real. Whatever your reason for grabbing a Twinkle Tush is, just know that it not only covers your cats bung-hole, but it does it in style with some bling! Your cat will be walking around like they own the place.
cost: $5.99 But the Buy links don't work on this article.

charisstoma: (Default)
the spider expert

My sister's cat blew up in a furry way on seeing one spider. So not a experts are the same.
charisstoma: (Default)
Title: When One Lives with a Familiar
Original post of the article: What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 569

kitten sleeping
Credit: vita khorzhevska | Shutterstock

“Dirty Litter Box!”, came from the other room. Morris raised his eyebrows. That was a combination of words not usually heard in their home. It was followed by an outraged, “Why would anyone even write about something like this?” Perhaps he needed to investigate.

“What?”

“Just look at this.” Lyric stamped a paw on the Ipad screen on the floor and then growled when the screen changed.

Morris smiled, in his mind he could see his kitten hissing, running through the house to return and attack the Ipad.

“I KNOW what you’re thinking. I’m not a kitten. Fix this! NOW!”

“Try please.”

There was a growled, “Pllllleeeese. Sometimes I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You’re just frustrated. You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

“Am not.”

“Okay.” Morris said and muttered, “but you are,” as he picked up the Ipad recovering the previous page.

Lyric’s, “I can hear you, you know. SEEE. Read that,” was followed with a hissed spit.

“Hmmm. Catches the attention all right.”

“Look at the photo of the dead kitten!”

“There’s a caption. ‘Kitten sleeping on its back.’ Not dead. The photo is of a sleeping kitten.” Quickly he scanned from the title, ‘What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?’ through the rest of the article.

“Okay it says, and I quote, "Experts say that if all the world's cats suddenly died, things would quickly go to hell in a handbasket." "Cats, both pets and strays, may fool us into thinking that they depend on our food and trash for survival, but ... they're expert predators with adaptable hunting behaviors." "They are a significant predator of small animals, and can survive as almost solitary animals when the prey is scarce, while thriving in high density when the prey is abundant, ..."”

“Essentially the article is about how cats are responsible for controlling pests like rats and mice which eat grain and that without cats humans would have less food. Then there’s statistics supporting the impact of cats on those pests. That without cats, the increase of rodents would trigger a cascade of other ecological effects.”

It says, “"In this country, cats are much loved by many. While there are more dog-owning households (38 percent) than cat- owning households (34 percent), there are actually more domestic cats than dogs because cat owners own more of them." Hmmm, wonder if I should get another cat,” drew a growl from Lyric and a smile from Morris as he continued, “"Cats as pets have always been appreciated for the contact, relatively low maintenance, and pedomorphic (that means child-like) face and general morphology."” Putting down the Ipad, he turned to look down at Lyric. “See not a bad article at all. Makes one read through all the information supporting the importance of cats, even familiar ones.”

Lyric sat looking up at Morris.

With a sighed, “Okay,” Morris walked into the kitchen, reaching high up into the cabinet to retrieve the special small bowl that was Lyric’s and a can of canned salmon pate. Pulling the tab that resulted in the distinctive pop and swoosh sound of an opening can, he carefully spooned out the contents. There was a brush of fur against and between his lower legs.

“You could have just asked for food, you know.”

Lyric stopped to look up at him. “Now where would be the fun in that?” before he applied himself to the yummy salmon.

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