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Deirochelys reticularia miaria

Title: Good vibrations: a novel method for sexing turtles or The Sexing of Turtles
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 822

“What do you think would happen if we..” Tom held up the toy. “Gets a rise outa me.”

“I think this was not a good time to have come into a store like this after the bar,” Sam replied.

“Good time to come,” Tom giggled, “in a store like this? What do you think they do in the booths over there?”

“Nothing I want to do while drunk.”

“Wasn’t offering. Still let’s get one of these and see if it works, you know.”

“Okay but if it does how do we write it up?”

“We’ll think of that if it comes.” Tom took off giggling again.

Finding the plastic bag with the vibrator inside it brought back the whole discussion from the night before. Sam wondered if Tom would remember too, and grinned, sticking it in his backpack before he left.

“You’re late. Hung over?”

“Nope. Found something and had a discussion with myself if I wanted to bring it or use it.”

Tom raised his brows at him.

Sam reached into his backpack and withdrew the toy. “Let’s see if this thing works on turtles. How many victims do we have?”

“Wow,” Tom’s brows went even higher. “I’d forgotten.”

“I’m not inserting it.”

“Of course not, that’d be wrong.”

“And vibrating a turtle isn’t?”

“It’ll be short and sweet and hopefully effective.”

“Yeah, well we’ll see.”

“It’s working. Wow. And wow.”

“Oh yeah. So this one’s a male aaaaand confirmation.”

“It works!”

Someone had broke into the lab and stolen one of the turtle subjects during the night. A male.

Sam was the one who stayed late to write up the results from their research so far. It was dark as he left but he still went down to the nearby lake to listen to the water. It was his favorite thing to do at the end of a day, better when there was no one there. Except it wasn’t. There was one guy who was there, his skin still wet from a late night swim. He must have forgotten or didn’t bring a suit thinking to be alone.

“Swimming after dark and alone isn’t smart. And the mosquitoes will make a meal of you.”

“Not a problem,” the guy had smiled. “I’m a good swimmer. Besides the mosquitoes don’t like the taste of me.”

“Says the guy who still might drown.”

“Uh huh. Might but won’t. What about you? You come down here to swim or for the atmosphere?”

“Atmosphere. I like the sounds and the smell of the lake and all.”

“We’ve got that in common.”

Sam sighed, “I love this kind of place. Studying turtles. Conservation and that sort of thing.”

“Studying turtles huh. What’s to study about turtles?”

“Well at the moment, we found a way to sex turtles?”

The guy laughed, “I’ll bet.”

“Not like that. Like find a way to determine the gender of an individual turtle.”

“So not a perve who gets off on getting turtles all hot and bothered.”

“Gotta admit I do get excited getting turtles to show me their penises. It’s great to have found a way to effectively gender them that easy and doesn’t hurt the turtle. Just put a vibrator in the right places and out it comes.”

“It only turtles you get off on sexing?”

Sam laughed, “You think you’ve got gaydar?”

“Maybe. What if the turtle is interested in their own gender?”

“Think a turtle has to do what a turtle has to do. Main goal is to produce more turtles. After that,” Sam shrugged.

“So what about me?”

“Sorry left my vibrator back at the lab.”

The stranger moved closer touching Sam’s face with his hands. “Touch me back.”

Sam gulped but stroked a hand up the man’s chest to touch his face and heard the man moan, “Yes. Like that. Just like that.”

Things moved fast after that and luckily Sam carried protection and a few lube packets with him. A guy never knew when he might get find ‘that guy’.

Meeting Derry got to be a thing down at the lake. Derry called their meeting place ‘getting back to his roots’ and possibly finding a mate, when he wasn’t working at his place; The Fish Store, a Place to Buy Live Pet Aquarium Fish.

“No turtles though, turtles aren’t for sale. I don’t run a sex business.”

It was a few years before Derry told him why turtles were really off the menu. Well there was an exception for Sam eating him or Derry eating Sam, in a good way that is. That was when Sam found out that the man he loved and wanted to spend his life with was the turtle he’d sexed a long time ago, the one that got away, and that werewolves weren’t the only shifters in the world. Now their discussions were if Derry’s biting him could make Sam a wereturtle so they could try it turtle style.

Date: 2017-08-11 04:14 am (UTC)
theotherdibbler: (laughter)
From: [personal profile] theotherdibbler
Bahaha! XD

See, I knew that paper made good story inspiration.

Date: 2017-08-11 10:37 am (UTC)
mee_eep: Ratbag (Default)
From: [personal profile] mee_eep
*snorts* research.

Date: 2017-08-14 11:28 pm (UTC)
theotherdibbler: (Default)
From: [personal profile] theotherdibbler
Yay research and learning things! And that sounds really cute. <3

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