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charisstomaMeridae plunnied this to me and Meep aided and abetted.
I had to write this out on paper between directing testing student traffic at the cross-halls for those students who needed a certain kind of room used just for 'that' purpose.
Title: Difficult Questions fielded by an Expert Grandparent
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 823
There was never so difficult an audience as the very young who didn’t understand, or worse did, the discomfort of an adult answering certain types of questions, Brian thought looking into the alertly expectant faces of his grand-kittens.
Today’s question; that Warne, Ranel and Reies didn’t feel able to answer, the cowards; in retrospect, Reies had tried, unsuccessfully it seemed; and now he, Brian, had to do damage control. Today’s question was; what was the difference between Daddy and Papa?
Those inquisitive little whiskered faces sat in a half circle waiting for his enlightenment.
“Okay kittens, “Birds.” It’s difficult to tell the difference between two of the same kind of birds, those who have set up a nest to raise their chicks in, apart although sometimes their feather colors will usually give you a clue. Many times they will not. But one will lay the egg or eggs in the nest. And most times both parents will take turns keeping the eggs warm and caring for the babies after they hatch. Baby birds are call hatchlings or fledglings after they start growing their feathers. They mainly eat worms and bugs,” Brian added and watched small faces scrunch into expressions of ‘ewwwe nasty’.
“It’s somewhat the same with your Daddy and Papa, except that your Daddy Ranel didn’t lay any eggs in a nest, he kept you all inside his tummy until you were ready to come out and his body produced the milk for you when you were younger kittens.” Brian smiled, “Sometimes you still want him to produce some for you and he does.”
“Your Papa Warne helps take care of you but it’s mainly your Daddy who does most of the everyday things for you and Reies is a big help too. Papa Warne works to make sure there’s a house for you to grow up in, big kitten food for you to eat and also helps other people with his knowledge of magic.”
A small paw rose, “Why didn’t Papa Warne make milk for us?”
“Because the parent who had you in their tummy has the body that knows how to produce the milk. It’s a, ‘if that, then this’ kind of thing.”
“Can Papa Warne’s body learn to make milk?”
“With the correct spells maybe, but it’s easier to just let the body that already knows how to make the milk do it.”
“I’m going to have someone else carry my babies inside them and make their milk. I don’t want to have a big tummy with kittens squirming around in it like you had Grandpa Brian.”
Brian looked at Buttercup, “Well, that’ll be your choice though you might change your mind later when you meet someone you want to have kittens with. I’m sure it'll be possible for you to find someone to have your kittens but your body is made knowing even better than mine or Daddy Ranel’s how to make eggs, nurture kittens inside and produce milk. Your body is female. The female body is special that way, not better or worse but special, different than a male body.”
“Does that mean that we aren’t special?” one of the boys asked from a sea of small frowns.
“You are special too, just in a different way. We are all special. You lot were born as kittens, magical familiar kittens, so you can change to a human form. I was born in human form and the only way I can turn into a cat is from a certain magic that your Grandpa Duke preforms that also makes me able to have kittens. Same for Grandpa Balthazar even though he’s a powerful wizard like Papa Warne. I was a human knight who fell in love with a wizard and his familiar.”
“We’re all special but in different ways.” Brian stressed looking at his audience and decided to tempt fate, “Any other questions?”
Yep, disaster. He always got caught with the sex ed instruction.
“How do the kittens get into your tummy?”
“Well, one parent produces something called sperm, which look a lot like tadpoles but aren’t tadpoles, and they’re tiny. Too tiny to be able to be seen without the help of a microscope.”
“The other parent has the egg or eggs inside their tummy. The sperm has to be put inside the egg holding person’s body and when egg and sperm meet then babies happen and grow until they’re ready to come out of their safe place inside.”
“Sometimes the sperm and egg don’t meet, most times in fact,” Brian shrugged. “Then no babies happen. Everything has to be just right.”
His, “Any other questions?” was asked optimistically and followed quickly with, “No? Then how about we go outside and play bat the ball?” His question was met with loud mews of approval. There’d be other questions, Brian knew from experience, but for today the kittens had had enough for their young brains to be filled full.
I had to write this out on paper between directing testing student traffic at the cross-halls for those students who needed a certain kind of room used just for 'that' purpose.
Title: Difficult Questions fielded by an Expert Grandparent
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 823
There was never so difficult an audience as the very young who didn’t understand, or worse did, the discomfort of an adult answering certain types of questions, Brian thought looking into the alertly expectant faces of his grand-kittens.
Today’s question; that Warne, Ranel and Reies didn’t feel able to answer, the cowards; in retrospect, Reies had tried, unsuccessfully it seemed; and now he, Brian, had to do damage control. Today’s question was; what was the difference between Daddy and Papa?
Those inquisitive little whiskered faces sat in a half circle waiting for his enlightenment.
“Okay kittens, “Birds.” It’s difficult to tell the difference between two of the same kind of birds, those who have set up a nest to raise their chicks in, apart although sometimes their feather colors will usually give you a clue. Many times they will not. But one will lay the egg or eggs in the nest. And most times both parents will take turns keeping the eggs warm and caring for the babies after they hatch. Baby birds are call hatchlings or fledglings after they start growing their feathers. They mainly eat worms and bugs,” Brian added and watched small faces scrunch into expressions of ‘ewwwe nasty’.
“It’s somewhat the same with your Daddy and Papa, except that your Daddy Ranel didn’t lay any eggs in a nest, he kept you all inside his tummy until you were ready to come out and his body produced the milk for you when you were younger kittens.” Brian smiled, “Sometimes you still want him to produce some for you and he does.”
“Your Papa Warne helps take care of you but it’s mainly your Daddy who does most of the everyday things for you and Reies is a big help too. Papa Warne works to make sure there’s a house for you to grow up in, big kitten food for you to eat and also helps other people with his knowledge of magic.”
A small paw rose, “Why didn’t Papa Warne make milk for us?”
“Because the parent who had you in their tummy has the body that knows how to produce the milk. It’s a, ‘if that, then this’ kind of thing.”
“Can Papa Warne’s body learn to make milk?”
“With the correct spells maybe, but it’s easier to just let the body that already knows how to make the milk do it.”
“I’m going to have someone else carry my babies inside them and make their milk. I don’t want to have a big tummy with kittens squirming around in it like you had Grandpa Brian.”
Brian looked at Buttercup, “Well, that’ll be your choice though you might change your mind later when you meet someone you want to have kittens with. I’m sure it'll be possible for you to find someone to have your kittens but your body is made knowing even better than mine or Daddy Ranel’s how to make eggs, nurture kittens inside and produce milk. Your body is female. The female body is special that way, not better or worse but special, different than a male body.”
“Does that mean that we aren’t special?” one of the boys asked from a sea of small frowns.
“You are special too, just in a different way. We are all special. You lot were born as kittens, magical familiar kittens, so you can change to a human form. I was born in human form and the only way I can turn into a cat is from a certain magic that your Grandpa Duke preforms that also makes me able to have kittens. Same for Grandpa Balthazar even though he’s a powerful wizard like Papa Warne. I was a human knight who fell in love with a wizard and his familiar.”
“We’re all special but in different ways.” Brian stressed looking at his audience and decided to tempt fate, “Any other questions?”
Yep, disaster. He always got caught with the sex ed instruction.
“How do the kittens get into your tummy?”
“Well, one parent produces something called sperm, which look a lot like tadpoles but aren’t tadpoles, and they’re tiny. Too tiny to be able to be seen without the help of a microscope.”
“The other parent has the egg or eggs inside their tummy. The sperm has to be put inside the egg holding person’s body and when egg and sperm meet then babies happen and grow until they’re ready to come out of their safe place inside.”
“Sometimes the sperm and egg don’t meet, most times in fact,” Brian shrugged. “Then no babies happen. Everything has to be just right.”
His, “Any other questions?” was asked optimistically and followed quickly with, “No? Then how about we go outside and play bat the ball?” His question was met with loud mews of approval. There’d be other questions, Brian knew from experience, but for today the kittens had had enough for their young brains to be filled full.
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no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 12:36 am (UTC)My grasp of these guys might be wrong, but I'd think Warne would mind getting gifts for Mothers' Day, as he's confident in himself and his masculinity (he knows giving birth isn't something the "weaker" person does) and he seems the type that would take any excuse to receive a present. Or give one.
But I can imagine him peppering the event with Dad jokes (http://the-toast.net/series/dad-magazine/ reading the comments shows to you'd have to be male or have children to be a "Dad", therefore you don't have to be female or have children to be a "Mom")
Brian made the answer more complicated than it needed to be. Daddy and Papa (or Poppy or Pa or Poppa or Pops) are different words for a male parent (or grandparent). Those kittens are young enough that might have been all they were looking for. If the question was "why did Daddy carry us in his tummy?" That answer would have been different, but still simple.
I think the bird analogy is going to screw at least one of them up. I can see one of the boys build a nest of his blankets to pretend to be a mother.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 01:32 am (UTC)SO MANY QUESTIONS!
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 01:34 am (UTC)I think Ranel and Warne divide up the holidays along more traditional lines cos there's only two of them - so mother's day becomes Papa's Day (i.e. Ranel) and father's day is 'Daddy's day' and then there's Buttercup's Day cos Buttercup figures if Papa and Daddy get a day, she should have one too.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 06:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 09:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 01:22 pm (UTC)Cats nest anyway. I see nothing wrong with a kitten nesting. *grins*
It is more complex than it needed to be but when in doubt distract with too much information that isn't necessarily on topic. *nods head*
Really if the kittens' parents don't like the way Brian handled this discussion they should have done it themselves and he'd smile as he said that.
Am going to have to read that link, which sounds wonderful, later after school. ARGH sitting in the hallway telling students go that way to the restrooms if you are testing. Go that way to the other set of restrooms if you are done testing or aren't testing. Don't talk to each other. Put your cell phones away. STAAR testing is hyper security conscious and a pain in the ass.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 01:31 pm (UTC)Kittens will understand taking turns. It's the doing what they won't read the possible meaning of.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 01:38 pm (UTC)First kitten that overeats and has a bulging belly, can't you imagine the role play.
Kitten found in a blanket nest...
I'm going to create little kitten science learners. *NODS HEAD*
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 03:06 pm (UTC)Trying to make Buttercup eat Tadpoles and her screaming 'I don't want to carry kittens'
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 11:21 pm (UTC)I'm a city kid whose parents would visit friends who lived on a farm which is how I helped catch the sheep for the wool shearing.
Still when my ex recounted throwing horse apples (droppings) at his siblings, during a battle as a kid (it was summer and there was no snow for snowballs, and the best ones were those still squishy inside....
no subject
Date: 2016-05-10 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-11 02:19 am (UTC)::ignores the innuendo created by associating 'swallow' with anything sexual::
no subject
Date: 2016-05-11 10:07 pm (UTC)See
No tadpoles were hurt/swallowed during this comment.