I write on behalf of the West Sussex Dragons & Fairies Association, in response to your recent libellous posting concerning the alleged conduct of some of our members.
Whilst it is accepted that historically some members have engaged in demonstrations of traditional methods of creature incineration, occasionally followed by frenzied consumption, it should be remembered that these occurrences were generally following unlawful entry or trespass by the consumed.
Our dragon members have since the dawn of time been engaged in providing gold security services (www.dragongoldsecurity.com) and have been vigilant in the performance of said duties. Whilst striving to maintain rigorous standards in the performance of their occupational obligations, it is perhaps inevitable that accidents will happen and on occasion innocents may be injured or killed. It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. However, our members try and maintain a jovial nature throughout the barbaric slaughter, in keeping with our world renowned sense of humour.
As you well know, in more recent times the recession together with the growth in number of ‘smartarse kids’ who know better, has seen the demand for fictitious characters decline, and our members have mostly moved to a land far, far away or simply taken an early pension. Few can remember the last time we had a good human carnage and barbecue.
In conclusion, we trust that you will refrain from further unwarranted libellous actions, or indeed slanderous telling of stories to children. The showing of movies that portray dragons in a negative light, now known as ‘Dragon Porn’, may also constitute an offence.
Yours sincerely,
Puff (the dragon formerly known as ‘The Magic’)
Grand Master In Chief
West Sussex Dragons & Fairies Association (Now incorporating Littelhampton Goblins & Dwarves)
Caroline Demonchy For Ron Davis Dearest Puff, I beg to disagree. Some dragons can be an absolute nuisance. A few years ago, I myself had to engage in battle with one embittered old crust, over some silly cup supposedly stolen. I still bear the scars, on my butt, from its horns. I appreciate we shouldn't tar all with the same brush, but overall, surely you will concede that deliquence amongst your scally compatriotes is a very real problem and should be adressed. Indeed, maybe some Anger Management classes should be envisaged in future. Best regards Beowulf ************************
Ron Davis Ah yes, Beowulf, King of the Gits isn’t it? Oh! Parrr-don-moi, that’s spelt Geats. A bit of a ‘Freudian’ on my part I fancy.
You refer of course to what is known in dragon history as the ‘Earnaness Incident’, or indeed more recently by the ‘Young Drag’s’ as ‘The Epic Arse Kicking’. For the avoidance of doubt, an occasion whereupon your butt was given claw assisted relocation ‘all over the place’, as this well deserved beating was leveled upon you. This was carried out during an act of self defense by one of my female ancestral colleagues, after you forced entry into this elderly grand-mothers home, with nefarious intentions and under the guise of a trumped up perceived grievance. ‘Br-a-a-a-vely’ she fought back before being out numbered and over powered by you and that ‘Monkey Boy’ of yours, I recall seeing the name ‘Wiglaf’ on the rape-murder charge sheet.
I would remind you that this whole incident could have been avoided, if that special gold cup had not been stolen from her hoard. It was a gift engraved with the words ‘Worlds Best Grand-Dragon’ that carried special meaning and that is why she burned everything and everyone in sight, for hundreds of miles around. Fair do’s, I mean she was just venting a little steam and a bit of fire really.
Although you escaped prosecution for this brutal crime, I understand that you yourself were mortally wounded and went on to be burned by your own guys on a pyre in Gitland. That’s the same chicken-shit cowards who ran away into the woods and left you at the crime scene. Oooh, sorry again, that’s Geatland of course!
Anyway, metaphysically speaking, it certainly appears that detectives Kriya and Karma got their man! Which brings us to the rather interesting question of how it is that a barbequed dead ‘King Git’ (there I go again!) is now corresponding with me? Yours sincerely,
Puff (the dragon formerly known as ‘The Magic’)
Grand Master In Chief
West Sussex Dragons & Fairies Association (Now incorporating Littelhampton Goblins & Dwarves) ..(Isn't that everyone? :-)) ******************
Lance Katz Oi laddie, I was jes talking tae Nessie Last night, and shes still waiting on 'er new membership card. Its been bloody 100 years. She said shes also lodged several requests for assistance in dealing wit the onslaught o gawkers that keep pokin thier noses ,cameras and submarines and what 'ave ya in her home. Bloody paparazzi! I trust said membership is a workin on that! ****************
Caroline Demonchy I went unwillingly to inhabit another home, in a place beyond, actually. As for contacting you, surely you have heard of Icloud! Kindly do not defame my faithful Wiglaf, whose bravery is well documented. Methinks you got your information from the Gutter Press, always willing to distort facts in search of a good story. As we know, it is all too easy to cry rape, and the old fiery crust in question was given a lie detector test, and failed miserably. The fact that the old dragon was, in fact, an illegal immigrant, well known to the police force and had been implicated in several breakins and arson acts is also well documented. After a heroic stand off by my men, and despite the help of my Naegling sword made by the celebrated Kaneham Kiyochika, I was unable to overcome the said Dragon, who was high on amphetamines and completely out of control. Wiglaf did avenge me after my butt was kicked and I sustained an injury on my neck- hardly a love bite....the situation had to stop. The cowardly beast was apprehended and suitably sentenced after a fair trial. I therefore persist and sign Beowulf *************
Ron Davis No need to ask "Is there anybody there?", as I'm clearly speaking to the 'Ghost' of the 'King of the Gits'. This smacks of a typical medieval Scandinavian false allegation cover up and a justice style that is almost French in its banality - Putting an already deceased murdered old codger on trial? You say the old dragon failed the lie detector and stood trial?, Well no surprises there! She was dead for god’s sake! Were you using a spiritual lie detector perchance?
I also read that much evidence was ignored at the trial. There was no mention of the bowman witnessed behind the grassy knoll, or that others had heard the sound of four rounds of archer fire from the forth floor of the Earnaness Scroll Suppository Cave, and that there was the smell of freshly fired arrow in the Plazza outside the crime scene. And perhaps most mysteriously of all, is Oliver Stones 'Magic Arrow' theory together with the fact that all of the witnesses have died, over the last eleven hundred years!
Now you’re playing the old EU right wing immigrant card eh? Cheap shot!.
And what’s with this “Heroic stand by my men” that you mentioned? Ohhh perleeease! They ran off into the woods chum! So that's heroic by who's standards? ..the Italians maybe?
Expect to hear from our legal team.
Yours sincerely,
Puff (the dragon formerly known as ‘The Magic’)
Grand Master In Chief , etc., etc., etc., *********
Ron Davis Lance, We checked the D & F Association records as far back as long, long ago before the begining of time, and could find no records of Nessie's membership. In fact no one here has ever met her in person. It is generally the opinion of the committee that she is the by product of a clash between an awkwardly floating log and the flamboyant imature imagination of an LSD fuelled sixties hippie. Sorry to disappoint dude.
Meep... dragon-dragon? Are you crazy?! There's a t-shirt out there.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, For you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
You live in Wales, home of dragons. You should know these things. Ratbag knows that he can run faster than you can and that is all he needs to be able to do.
Ratbag the conqueror of dragons, little ones, that don't spit flames. You know if you are a cat and fluff out to look bigger you become like a lint ball and probably more combustible. So it makes sense that a savvy cat who appear brave on the outside.
Um purring as he passes by... purring because he's not the one that's going to be eaten?
Maybe it's just me but that 'dragon' in the picture looks more like a dinosaur. I'd be careful if I were him, I'm sure Puff (formally 'The Magic') will have the law team after him for impersonation and framing dragons in the murder of whatever poor knight that Dino killed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charisstoma) wrote2014-11-30 07:03 pm
And someone replied over there...
I write on behalf of the West Sussex Dragons & Fairies Association, in response to your recent libellous posting concerning the alleged conduct of some of our members.
Whilst it is accepted that historically some members have engaged in demonstrations of traditional methods of creature incineration, occasionally followed by frenzied consumption, it should be remembered that these occurrences were generally following unlawful entry or trespass by the consumed.
Our dragon members have since the dawn of time been engaged in providing gold security services (www.dragongoldsecurity.com) and have been vigilant in the performance of said duties. Whilst striving to maintain rigorous standards in the performance of their occupational obligations, it is perhaps inevitable that accidents will happen and on occasion innocents may be injured or killed. It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. However, our members try and maintain a jovial nature throughout the barbaric slaughter, in keeping with our world renowned sense of humour.
As you well know, in more recent times the recession together with the growth in number of ‘smartarse kids’ who know better, has seen the demand for fictitious characters decline, and our members have mostly moved to a land far, far away or simply taken an early pension. Few can remember the last time we had a good human carnage and barbecue.
In conclusion, we trust that you will refrain from further unwarranted libellous actions, or indeed slanderous telling of stories to children. The showing of movies that portray dragons in a negative light, now known as ‘Dragon Porn’, may also constitute an offence.
Yours sincerely,
Puff (the dragon formerly known as ‘The Magic’)
Grand Master In Chief
West Sussex Dragons & Fairies Association
(Now incorporating Littelhampton Goblins & Dwarves)
Re: And someone replied over there...
Dearest Puff, I beg to disagree. Some dragons can be an absolute nuisance. A few years ago, I myself had to engage in battle with one embittered old crust, over some silly cup supposedly stolen. I still bear the scars, on my butt, from its horns. I appreciate we shouldn't tar all with the same brush, but overall, surely you will concede that deliquence amongst your scally compatriotes is a very real problem and should be adressed. Indeed, maybe some Anger Management classes should be envisaged in future.
Best regards
Beowulf
************************
Ron Davis Ah yes, Beowulf, King of the Gits isn’t it? Oh! Parrr-don-moi, that’s spelt Geats. A bit of a ‘Freudian’ on my part I fancy.
You refer of course to what is known in dragon history as the ‘Earnaness Incident’, or indeed more recently by the ‘Young Drag’s’ as ‘The Epic Arse Kicking’. For the avoidance of doubt, an occasion whereupon your butt was given claw assisted relocation ‘all over the place’, as this well deserved beating was leveled upon you. This was carried out during an act of self defense by one of my female ancestral colleagues, after you forced entry into this elderly grand-mothers home, with nefarious intentions and under the guise of a trumped up perceived grievance. ‘Br-a-a-a-vely’ she fought back before being out numbered and over powered by you and that ‘Monkey Boy’ of yours, I recall seeing the name ‘Wiglaf’ on the rape-murder charge sheet.
I would remind you that this whole incident could have been avoided, if that special gold cup had not been stolen from her hoard. It was a gift engraved with the words ‘Worlds Best Grand-Dragon’ that carried special meaning and that is why she burned everything and everyone in sight, for hundreds of miles around. Fair do’s, I mean she was just venting a little steam and a bit of fire really.
Although you escaped prosecution for this brutal crime, I understand that you yourself were mortally wounded and went on to be burned by your own guys on a pyre in Gitland. That’s the same chicken-shit cowards who ran away into the woods and left you at the crime scene. Oooh, sorry again, that’s Geatland of course!
Anyway, metaphysically speaking, it certainly appears that detectives Kriya and Karma got their man! Which brings us to the rather interesting question of how it is that a barbequed dead ‘King Git’ (there I go again!) is now corresponding with me?
Yours sincerely,
Puff (the dragon formerly known as ‘The Magic’)
Grand Master In Chief
West Sussex Dragons & Fairies Association
(Now incorporating Littelhampton Goblins & Dwarves) ..(Isn't that everyone? :-))
******************
Lance Katz Oi laddie, I was jes talking tae Nessie Last night, and shes still waiting on 'er new membership card. Its been bloody 100 years. She said shes also lodged several requests for assistance in dealing wit the onslaught o gawkers that keep pokin thier noses ,cameras and submarines and what 'ave ya in her home. Bloody paparazzi! I trust said membership is a workin on that!
****************
Caroline Demonchy I went unwillingly to inhabit another home, in a place beyond, actually. As for contacting you, surely you have heard of Icloud! Kindly do not defame my faithful Wiglaf, whose bravery is well documented. Methinks you got your information from the Gutter Press, always willing to distort facts in search of a good story. As we know, it is all too easy to cry rape, and the old fiery crust in question was given a lie detector test, and failed miserably. The fact that the old dragon was, in fact, an illegal immigrant, well known to the police force and had been implicated in several breakins and arson acts is also well documented. After a heroic stand off by my men, and despite the help of my Naegling sword made by the celebrated Kaneham Kiyochika, I was unable to overcome the said Dragon, who was high on amphetamines and completely out of control. Wiglaf did avenge me after my butt was kicked and I sustained an injury on my neck- hardly a love bite....the situation had to stop. The cowardly beast was apprehended and suitably sentenced after a fair trial.
I therefore persist and sign
Beowulf
*************
Re: And someone replied over there...
Ron Davis No need to ask "Is there anybody there?", as I'm clearly speaking to the 'Ghost' of the 'King of the Gits'.
This smacks of a typical medieval Scandinavian false allegation cover up and a justice style that is almost French in its banality - Putting an already deceased murdered old codger on trial? You say the old dragon failed the lie detector and stood trial?, Well no surprises there! She was dead for god’s sake! Were you using a spiritual lie detector perchance?
I also read that much evidence was ignored at the trial. There was no mention of the bowman witnessed behind the grassy knoll, or that others had heard the sound of four rounds of archer fire from the forth floor of the Earnaness Scroll Suppository Cave, and that there was the smell of freshly fired arrow in the Plazza outside the crime scene. And perhaps most mysteriously of all, is Oliver Stones 'Magic Arrow' theory together with the fact that all of the witnesses have died, over the last eleven hundred years!
Now you’re playing the old EU right wing immigrant card eh? Cheap shot!.
And what’s with this “Heroic stand by my men” that you mentioned? Ohhh perleeease! They ran off into the woods chum! So that's heroic by who's standards? ..the Italians maybe?
Expect to hear from our legal team.
Yours sincerely,
Puff (the dragon formerly known as ‘The Magic’)
Grand Master In Chief , etc., etc., etc.,
*********
Ron Davis Lance, We checked the D & F Association records as far back as long, long ago before the begining of time, and could find no records of Nessie's membership. In fact no one here has ever met her in person. It is generally the opinion of the committee that she is the by product of a clash between an awkwardly floating log and the flamboyant imature imagination of an LSD fuelled sixties hippie. Sorry to disappoint dude.
Re: And someone replied over there...
*standing on the doorstop with treats chanting here Dragon-dragon*
luckily(?) only the cat has ventured past me ;)
Re: And someone replied over there...
Meep... dragon-dragon? Are you crazy?! There's a t-shirt out there.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons,
For you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
You live in Wales, home of dragons. You should know these things.
Ratbag knows that he can run faster than you can and that is all he needs to be able to do.
Re: And someone replied over there...
But I LIKE Dragons!
Of course...
But can you blame him? I mean those knights turn up pre-foiled!
Yeeeees and if he gives a purr on passing then if I survive he's got a chance at treats. Though knowing him he'd take on the Dragon and win!
Re: And someone replied over there...
You know if you are a cat and fluff out to look bigger you become like a lint ball and probably more combustible. So it makes sense that a savvy cat who appear brave on the outside.
Um purring as he passes by... purring because he's not the one that's going to be eaten?
Re: And someone replied over there...
He'd recruit them and have his own dragon army to chase down dogs everywhere and people who stand in his sun and....yeah!
Re: And someone replied over there...
Re: And someone replied over there...
Re: And someone replied over there...
Re: And someone replied over there...
Someone should write it for me *puppy dog eyes and kitty cat glowers* I likes dragonfics..... ;)
It does look like a dinosaur, but I'm not going to argue with those teeth!
Re: And someone replied over there...
Re: And someone replied over there...
Re: And someone replied over there...
Dragon/prehistoric crocodile *shrugs* They have teeth.