charisstoma (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charisstoma) wrote2013-07-17 04:00 am
charisstoma) wrote2013-07-17 04:00 am
The Stiff Corpse who Came in From the Warm
Title: The Stiff Corpse who Came in From the Warm
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 480
*Bus = An Ambulance or Mobile Intensive Care Unit.
“Ahem, I see that you’re new around here.”
“Came in on the last bus*. It always this chilly?”
There was a closed mouth grin, “Freshness counts. Once they get the preservatives in, it’ll be better.”
“So you’re pretty knowledgeable for a working stiff, you act like you’ve been here a while.”
“Got connections. My uncle owns this place but it’s not really where I work. I’m more in the shrink wrap department.” There was some laughter, “I help the newbies find their feet and wrap their minds around their changed circumstances. Help them find jobs. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you don’t go on living.”
“Huh.”
“Now take yourself. You’d do well in porn if you don’t mind being objectified. How did you come by that case of priapism?” He checked the clipboard in his hand, “Ah, little matter of a deep bite to the spine. Sorry about that. Horace got away from us that day, which does explain why you’ve arrived here and zombie-fied.”
“Huh.”
“Would you stop that?!”
“What?”
“Answering what I say with huh.”
“O-kay,” was said carefully.
“So where do you see yourself in your new undead life?”
“Your assistant?”
“WHAT!”
His, “I think I can do as good a job as you asking stupid questions,” earned him the stink eye in response.
“Al-righty then. Next question.” There was a glare delivered with, “What did you do while you were alive? Did you hunt? Any experience at butchery? Have you ever wanted to be a taxidermist?”
A hand went up to stop the questions, “I was a government employee. Don’t ask me what, I’d have to kill you.”
“I’m DEAD! YOU’RE DEAD!”
“Still can’t tell you,” was declared stubbornly.
“That does it!” was shrieked and the clipboard was thrown on the floor. “Get back in your tray and think about it and when you can be reasonable then, and only then, we’ll talk.”
The tray was cold in the refrigeration unit and the government employee thought it ironic, he was being kept on ice figuratively speaking. He'd worked at debriefing processing of top security personnel and making people answer questions was his specialty. That plum job of welcome to your new life was practically his. He knew how to be patient.
The clipboard hit his chest three days later with a, "Fine. But don't think this will mean you'll be anything but my assistant."
It might have been clearer if eyes wouldn't keep wandering down, the former government employee thought, as they went to go have his preservation done. He smiled, obviously a certain of his points was being considered. His new boss was interested no matter what he said. It was just a matter of time before he had his boss’s job and his boss in his bed. He was single, hard and he had time for courting of cute bosses, objectification no problem.
Continues here
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 480
*Bus = An Ambulance or Mobile Intensive Care Unit.
“Ahem, I see that you’re new around here.”
“Came in on the last bus*. It always this chilly?”
There was a closed mouth grin, “Freshness counts. Once they get the preservatives in, it’ll be better.”
“So you’re pretty knowledgeable for a working stiff, you act like you’ve been here a while.”
“Got connections. My uncle owns this place but it’s not really where I work. I’m more in the shrink wrap department.” There was some laughter, “I help the newbies find their feet and wrap their minds around their changed circumstances. Help them find jobs. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you don’t go on living.”
“Huh.”
“Now take yourself. You’d do well in porn if you don’t mind being objectified. How did you come by that case of priapism?” He checked the clipboard in his hand, “Ah, little matter of a deep bite to the spine. Sorry about that. Horace got away from us that day, which does explain why you’ve arrived here and zombie-fied.”
“Huh.”
“Would you stop that?!”
“What?”
“Answering what I say with huh.”
“O-kay,” was said carefully.
“So where do you see yourself in your new undead life?”
“Your assistant?”
“WHAT!”
His, “I think I can do as good a job as you asking stupid questions,” earned him the stink eye in response.
“Al-righty then. Next question.” There was a glare delivered with, “What did you do while you were alive? Did you hunt? Any experience at butchery? Have you ever wanted to be a taxidermist?”
A hand went up to stop the questions, “I was a government employee. Don’t ask me what, I’d have to kill you.”
“I’m DEAD! YOU’RE DEAD!”
“Still can’t tell you,” was declared stubbornly.
“That does it!” was shrieked and the clipboard was thrown on the floor. “Get back in your tray and think about it and when you can be reasonable then, and only then, we’ll talk.”
The tray was cold in the refrigeration unit and the government employee thought it ironic, he was being kept on ice figuratively speaking. He'd worked at debriefing processing of top security personnel and making people answer questions was his specialty. That plum job of welcome to your new life was practically his. He knew how to be patient.
The clipboard hit his chest three days later with a, "Fine. But don't think this will mean you'll be anything but my assistant."
It might have been clearer if eyes wouldn't keep wandering down, the former government employee thought, as they went to go have his preservation done. He smiled, obviously a certain of his points was being considered. His new boss was interested no matter what he said. It was just a matter of time before he had his boss’s job and his boss in his bed. He was single, hard and he had time for courting of cute bosses, objectification no problem.
Continues here
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feel goodnot feel bad about it ^_^no subject
These reminders of chapters still waiting are helpful.
*grins* Thank you.