charisstoma: (Default)


Title: Dog and Cat Drinking Together
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 746


“You think they’ll be long?”

Fred turned his head from his water bowl to look in disbelief at Don. “Surely you know about humans, and even if they’re wizards they’re still humans. They don’t do a simple mating thing. They tend to take their time and after that they tend to fall asleep cuddling together. And often they do it all again sometimes waking the other to mate again and again.” He sighed. “This may be an all night thing since you’re over here too.”

Don’s eyes widened, “That’s why he brought my stuff over here.”

“Yep.”

“Where do I sleep then?”

“Couch, chair, spare bedroom;” Fred did a dog shrug, “but I warn you, if you decide to sleep there it’s my bed too.”

“I like to sleep between the sheets.”

“So do I but I’m in my human form.”

“Oh. You wear pajamas?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.” Don looked away down into the second water bowl. “You mind if I stay in my cat form?”

“Scaredy cat?”

“Cautious cat. I may shed my fur but I’ve never done human naked in bed with anyone and my pajamas aren’t in the things Tony packed. I watched him closely.”

“What did you think he was packing so many of your things for?”

“We’d stay late, like maybe after 11 o’clock, and he knows I’m finicky. I don’t want to eat dog food if I get hungry and since you might not get to eat anything except dog food if you’re in canine form.”

“And the blanket?”

“My blanket, that I like to cuddle into if it’s cool and there’s no sunlight to sun in. You might be one of those families that like to turn the A/C down cool.”

“Yeah, we do do that at night for bedtime.”

“So, you think they’re going to be in there long?”

Fred sighed and told himself not to roll his eyes. “Yes.”

“It’s already 11 o’clock.”

“So it is.”

Don sighed, “Spare bedroom is where?”

“Want to use the outdoor cat box first?”

“No.” Don shuddered. “I’ll use the indoor facilities.”

“We’ve got no cat box and you didn’t bring one.”

Don sniffed, “I know how to use the toilet and flush it after. You’ll have to put the seat down for me if it’s up.”

“Ooooh an educated cat. That’s handy. I use my human form for the necessities. Even know how to operate the can opener.”

“Really? Before I leave would you show me how. Might come in handy sometime.”

“Sure. No problem. Gotta be in human form though.”

“Why do you have dog food then?”

“Cheaper. Isn’t too bad especially if Alex pours gravy over top of it and if a regular human visits they expect to see dog food down for me to eat if I get hungry. Usually we eat the same thing though.”

“Tony doesn’t think of that. He says things like cats have special needs in their food and because he’s really aware of that ash thing in foods I eat,” Don sighed. “He’s careful. I probably should be in my human form more. Humans can eat pretty anything they want and he forgets I can be human.”
“Want to start practicing that human form thing tonight?”

“I don’t know you well enough to do that and sleep with you. I don’t tom cat around.”

“Fair enough. I’ll put the seat down for you and show you where the spare room is before I shower.”

“Dry well. Wet skin and fur don’t go well together.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Right.”

Alex heard the shower start a short time of the flushing of the toilet. He turned over and cuddled close. “Fred’s getting ready for bed. Don going to be okay?”

“He knows how to use the toilet. Expect he’ll curl up someplace with his blanket.”

Tony felt Alex smile against his cheek and turned into the kiss.

Sometime in the night Alex got up and checked things, returning to bed to tell Tony about how cute Fred looked with Don sleeping on his chest, his small cat head just sticking out from below the bedding.

“That’s the way he sleeps with me. He’s already training Fred.”

“Good. You’re time in bed is going to be taken frequently.”

“Good, often and well. You want to receive this time though?”

“A little sore?”

“No, I’m good. Equal time.”

Alex rolled over, “You are definitely good either way.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”

Chuckling, “Everywhere? I’ll remember that.”
charisstoma: (Default)


Title: Relationships
Author: charisstomas
Word count: 189


“So how did your clandestine meeting go with ‘Alex’?”

Tony paused, “What makes you think … how do you know about that?”

“Just because Fred and I are mortal enemies...”

“Oh not mortal, not from what I’ve heard.”

Through clenched teeth, “mortal enemies. Just because he and I talk, doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

“Uh huh.”

“We can still talk to each other.”

“Talk. Uh huh.”

“WHAT DID ALEX TELL YOU?”

Tony assumed a mysterious Cheshire cat smile. “Oh, I don’t kiss and tell.”

“KISS and TELL?”

“I’m a little tired. Think I’ll go to bed now.”

“Wait. What?” and then menacingly, “You may not wake up in the morning.”

“That would make Alex sad and you’d have to go live with him and Fred.” Tony stuck his head back around the door frame, “Think about it.”

Tony grinned as from the other room he heard, “ARRRRR.” Seems he had a pirate for a cat. The pitterpat of rain outside made him smile. The garden needed a good soaking and he’d already warned Alex that tonight would probably not be a good night for Fred to go for any walks.
charisstoma: (Default)


Title: Street Art
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 421


“Alright who is the comedian?”

Tony came up to stand beside Don and surveyed the art on the pavement. “Probably some child. Some older child with more chalk than they know what to do with and more free time than is healthy.”

“I do not look like that.”

“Of course not, I’ve never seen your tail in that S shape and hmm looks like it might have been broken too.”

“My paws are not misshapen like that. They look like human feet. And it looks like I’ve got a sausage for a body. No cat has a sausage body.”

“True. True.” When in doubt just agree, Tony had found. “Cute face though.”

“Hmmm.”

“So you like Fred’s chalk art? It took him a while. I especially like the meteor. He doesn’t often change to his human form but for this he did.”

“He did this in his human form?” there was dread in Tony’s voice. Hoping against hope, “Fred’s age in dog years the same as his human form?”

“Oh,” The wizard laughed, “he’s about our age.” Eyeing the feline familiar, I’m assuming that Don is our age.”

“Then Fred is mentally an adult and not developmentally challenged?”

“Oh. Nope. Some people like to color in those adult coloring books. Fred likes a more free form format on pavement.” The wizard was slightly nervous, “this wasn’t meant to be derogatory. Think of it as sort of a caricature, exaggerated representation, a parody even. I um think the face is cute.”

“Look Wizard...”

“Alex. My name’s Alex. Pleased to meet you… again.”

“Look Alex...”

Tony cut off whatever Don was going to say, “I’m sure that Fred didn’t mean to be insulting. The fact that it’s on our sidewalk and not on your own is a bit suspect. But we’re adult enough to overlook any implied disrespect.”

“Um, Ooookay. Thank you. I’ll talk to Fred.”

“Thank You.”

As Alex walked hurriedly away Tony’s voice carried just enough to hear, “You will wait to cause it to rain until he gets safely back to his own house, Don. If need be we can get the hose out to wash the chalk off sooner. Do. Not.”

Alex put a little more speed into his step. By the time he saw his house fat raindrops were starting to splat on the concrete in an as yet sparse distribution.

Entering through the door he called, “Well, I don’t believe your familiar cat friend is a lover of your form of art.”

Fred’s laughter met his words.
charisstoma: (Default)


Title: We Are Not Pleased
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 359

“I know, sweetheart. But it’s only for a few hours.”

“A dog.”

“Only,” Tony’s voice was becoming aggravated, “for an hour or two.”

“Why would you invite a dog into our house?!”

“One, he’s a sweet dog. He’s been very non-aggressive when I dealt with him in the past when he broke into the backyard before. Two, there was a thunderstorm and I found him curled up on the porch against the door and even his ears were shivering.”

Don curled his lip up in a sneer, “So he was a little cold. He has his own house.”

“He was afraid! So I let him in.”

“And fed him… some of MY food and you let him on the couch in spite of the fact he’s already lifted his leg on the back door. He’s trying to muscle in on my territory! And if he thinks he’s coming into our bed……..”, a fang was exposed.

“I only have cat food and it was the dry stuff anyway. I put a blanket on the couch for him to lie on. Dogs do that marking thing to advertise that they’ve been there. Think it has something to do with not getting lost and saying Hi.”

“And the bed?”

“He’s not ours. As soon as it’s less wet out, the wizard across the fence will come and get him, if Fred doesn’t go home on his own. His Wizard contacted me via mirror less than 15 minutes ago.”

“’Fred’ can go home now.”

“Fred has been sick with some respiratory thing that’s going around. He thought he was able to go for a short walk in the fresh air and got caught in the rain.”

“He’s SICK and you let him IN? That does it. I need to go to the doctor right now.”

“Canine familiar flu is not feline familiar contagious.”

“Uh huh.”

Tony sighed, “I called our own doctor. The Wizard confirmed it per his own doctor too. You’re safe. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go heat up some chicken soup for Fred.”

Don growled. From the next room he could see Fred silently laughing. Stupid dog.

More cats

Jun. 9th, 2017 12:53 pm
charisstoma: (Default)
Not a kitten
That's not a kitten. Potatoes are needed for some arcane spells?


any port in a storm cat
Any port in a storm?


cat sitting way up

Umm...


cat licking tail
Well my tail won't clean itself.


I
The cat version of, "I've fallen and can't get uppppp, um I mean down."


cat - one of those neighbors
One of those neighbors.

On Display

May. 27th, 2017 05:01 pm
charisstoma: (Default)
meep prompt cat and chickens


Title: On Display
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 513

It was the commotion at the back door that drew Glen to look. He wasn’t the only one looking.
There on the door mat was Cicero lying on his back his furry tail end to the glass and the chickens who were talking loudly amongst themselves.

“Ciss, must you place yourself on display like that. There’s been enough trouble with the rooster as it is. Unless you like the rooster’s attentions. He’s got enough to do with the hens, he doesn’t need to prove himself with you too.”

Cicero impossibly stretched longer to the enjoyment of the hens.

Glen shook his head,“Flasher. You better be careful. It’s possible to have chicken cat offspring. You think being constipated is bad, think about pushing out a kitten sized egg.”

Nimbly Cicero rolled to the side and up where he proceeded to groom ironically the base of his spine near his tail.

“Thought you hadn’t considered that particular complication.”

“Will you stop interfering.” It was a tall red haired man outside the glass of the door. “Ciss, the hens lay eggs all the time. Claim it’s better than like being fucked.”

“Well that’s not surprising. You jump on them and then you’re done. Kind of a slam bam thank you ma'am.” Glen was not pulling any punches.

The man outside the door returned to his rooster shape and stalked off into the yard.

“Well you scared him off, didn’t you.” Cicero now stood with his hands on his hips facing Glen. “I’m all warmed up with no one to fuck me.”

“Enough with your tom catting ways, Ciss. If you want me, you don’t have to tease the rooster. Just show up on my bed in human form and I’m more than willing to satisfy you. BUT, I demand you give up your wantonness. If you’re with me than you’re with me only.”

“That a proposal?”

Glen squirmed, “well, um, yes.”

There was a flurry of arms and Glen found himself being rubbed on and kissed at the same time. Guess it was difficult to take the cat out of the cat familiar.

“I’ve loved since the first pet, you know.”

“Uh huh,” there was strong skepticism in Glen’s response. “I on the other hand have loved you since you showed up wet and forlorn on my doorstep. You wound your way into my heart with stealthy paws.”

Scattering kisses over his human wizard, “As I intended. It’s all in the presentation. I had to wait until the first decent rainstorm.”

Kissing back, Glen descended into surrender, “As I’m glad you did. BUT no more teasing the rooster.”

Laughing, “I don’t like slam bam, thank you ma’am. Well maybe sometimes but I like my lover to be that, my lover. Roosters don’t do it for me. A certain wizard will though.”

“Good.”

“Good. Meet you in the bedroom.” Cicero in cat form cheated, made it to the bed first, where he lolled back in all his naked human form reminiscent of how he lay on the door mat to the appreciation of the hens.
charisstoma: (Default)
Mind meld

This is a cat telling you you're trusted.

I think it's familiars communicating across species.
charisstoma: (default)
So why do cats purr?

http://www.grunge.com/30608/cats-purr-10-feline-facts/s/so-why-do-cats-purr/ Page 12


We're sorry. We said there would be no dark facts anymore, but we lied. This here might be the darkest of them all, and we apologize in advance.

First, the happy. Even the most marginal of cat people know that cats purr when they're happy. They make the noise by some sort of respiratory magic that happens in their diaphragm and larynx, and just how they do it remains one of the best mysteries of modern science. (It's one that we think we need a grant to be able to study in-depth.) It turns out that the idea of purring at happiness might be a bit of a misunderstanding, and they're actually asking us to keep petting them or keep providing a comfortable lap for them to sleep on. It's more like a polite and dignified request.

Now, the not-so-happy. Cats also purr when they're injured or scared, and researchers think that it has something to do with the healing power of the purr. You absolutely read that right. Cats purr at a frequency of 26 hertz (for most domestic cats), and that just happens to be the same frequency that's been found to promote healing in bone and other body tissues. Crazy, right? But that's the deal, and when cats are injured, they're likely trying to help themselves heal or comfort themselves by the reverberation of their own purr. It's why cats will often curl up with an injured cat (or non-cat) and purr. They're trying to help.

And now, the even worse part. Since cats purr to comfort themselves, it's also something that dying cats have been observed doing. They do it to console themselves and maybe, just maybe, to console you a little bit. Go on, wipe away that tear. That's what we need to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cats have almost mastered language, and they only speak to humans


http://www.grunge.com/30608/cats-purr-10-feline-facts/s/cats-have-almost-mastered-language-and-they-only-speak-to-humans/ Page 3

We know you talk to your cat, and we know she talks back. (You don't? You're a heathen or a liar.) It turns out that language is another way cats display the brilliance they all know they possess, and we take for granted. Cats have a whole bunch of ways to communicate with us, and it's up to humans to pay enough attention to facial and body cues, like "crazy face" and "STFU ears," to be able to understand what they're saying.

They've also developed a super-top-secret language that they use only to communicate with humans: meowing. Cats that live together don't usually meow or talk to each other, and studies of feral cat colonies find that cats in only-feline company are pretty silent. It's only humans that they meow to and, if you pay any attention to your cat at all, you can probably tell what they're saying. Things like, "Put those opposable thumbs to good use and open the cat food now, Human!" sound pretty different from something that means, "Please sit and give me cuddles, and I will allow you to bask in my sleepy, adorable glory."

In 2003, Cornell University researchers tested whether or not we could understand our cats or if we were taking environmental cues to figure out what they're saying, and they had people listen to recordings of cats and try to tell what it was they were saying. They could, but only when the sounds were coming from their own cat. That implies that we shouldn't worry too much, because there's not some universal cat-language that they're teaching us. They are, however, each teaching us their own commands, which might be even more worrying? That's strictly a skill that's been developed by domestic cats, and we tend to interpret wild cats as sounding just angry, no matter what they're saying. The moral of the story is: your cat has learned how to sweet-talk you to get what he wants.
charisstoma: (default)
Girls are right-handed, boys are left-handed

http://www.grunge.com/30608/cats-purr-10-feline-facts/s/girls-are-right-handed-boys-are-left-handed/ page 7

Right. Since we all need a little recovery time after realizing Snuggles probably wants to conquer the world, here's a fun bit of trivia that's made us realize we should have been scientists. Specifically, we should have been the kind of scientists that get this kind of funding. Psychologists at Queen's University Belfast in Northern Ireland asked themselves whether cats were right-pawed or left-pawed, and you've wondered it, too. We certainly have. They wanted to see which paw cats favored, so they gave 42 different cats a jar with a bit of tuna in it. The only way they could get it out was to reach in and, well, fish it out — when they did, they'd show which paw was dominant.

There were 21 males and 21 females in the test, and 20 of the males were left-handed, with one ambidextrous over-achiever. Twenty of the females were right-handed, and one girl, in true cat spirit, refused to conform to any human societal expectations.

Read More: http://www.grunge.com/30608/cats-purr-10-feline-facts/s/girls-are-right-handed-boys-are-left-handed/?utm_campaign=clip
charisstoma: (default)


Meep said: no no no bad enough the cat trying to drink coffee all the time

Title: It was a Dark and Rainy Night
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 677

The glinting drops of rain falling caught the lights of a pub and the only inviting doorway in the dark. If there was alcohol surely there’d be coffee to take the chill out of his body while his fur dried. It had seemed the best option to be in his feline form, smaller and faster, to avoid the wetness. More fool him.

Morris flitted through the door as a leaving patron came out. Warmth, darkness lit with spots of light especially at the bar, and a congenial ambiance enveloped him and he didn’t even try to stop his purr. The lit bar drew him to leap up onto a stool, the words, “Coffee please,” spilling from his mouth.

“You sure you’re in the right place?” came from the dog on the seat next to him.

The barman had already moved down the bar to a hotplate picking up a mug on the way.

“I’d say so,” Morris purred as the barman automatically reached for the creamer. The man was not stupid.

“This is a canine bar. Pussies aren’t wanted here,”

Read more... )
charisstoma: (Default)
Wine Cats
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1921336382/?tag=email-cats-20

Title: Wine Cats
Author: charisstoma
Word count: 231

It wasn't like I wanted to pose for this. Not that I don't like posing but the thimbleful of wine wasn't to my taste and even if it was... it should have been milk or gravy or catnip tea. hmmmm catnip tea....

"Morris, look at the pretty birdy."

What birdy, human?! Idiot. And the name's not Morris.

"Okay, That's good. Thanks for the borrowing of your cat, we’ll send you a copy of the book. He’s a handsome addition to our homage to ‘the animals behind the wines we love’ series."

From the safe arms of my wizard, Thomas, I do a low growl at 'the Idiot' kneading deep with my claws.
When the photographer was safely in his car and driving away, "If you ever...!"

"I won't. I won't. Ow! Watch the claws!" Thomas dropped Hector. "We have to appear to be normal. Photo opps are part of it. AND it's not my fault. You were the one who put out the ad online with your photo prominently displayed as vineyard supervisor. ”

“It was for the wizarding audience. ‘Magical wine and tea for your Magical Life’.”

“Well, it went out to everyone on the internet. Next time use select sites or chose a magical security app. We’re lucky that they only wanted to do a photo of the ‘interesting cat’ and thought that it was only a boutique vineyard.”

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